Ladies, this is for those of you who's partners will be glued to the screen for the Rugby World Cup and will be for the next few weeks.
Maybe this is the time to see all those movies your husband wouldn't want to watch with you, to go to the ballet, to see your old friends – that is if you can find a babysitter, because hubby probably wouldn't even notice if all three your children were wandering towards the highway or the neighbours' pool.
Ways to tell that you are a World Cup widow
- You won R7 000 last Saturday in the Lotto draw, and there hasn't been an opportunity to tell your husband.
- Your toddler spoke his first words this week. It was "red card".
- Twice this week you have found your husband fast asleep on the couch – at 4 am with the TV flickering in the background.
- You took the trash out yourself twice this week – it was less hassle than to ask him.
- You've cut your hair short and dyed it red – and he hasn't noticed.
- Your husband's hand twitched in his sleep – as if he was holding the TV remote.
- The whole family has not had a meal around the table once in the past two weeks.
- You feel a bit miffed that he's taking his annual leave now – does this mean you're going to the Bahamas by yourself?
- You are sure that if you were to feed him boiled cardboard and tomato sauce, he would not notice.
- He forgot it was his own birthday last Wednesday and you don't hold out much hope that he will organise a surprise party for yours in two weeks' time.
- You suspect your husband might have to be surgically removed from the couch by the end of the tournament.
- The household beer consumption has risen dramatically.
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He used to kiss you when he came home, now he just gropes around for the TV remote control.
(Susan Erasmus, Health24, updated August 2011)