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Posted by: Anon | 2004/12/13

Your opinion please

hi
just realised that my ex and my current live-in boyfriend have this 'friendship" thing going and i have just heard that there is talk that the boyfriend might buy the ex's car so that i can receive maintenance for my kids? i am not happy about this as i find my ex to be extremely manipulative and as i dont really want him hanging around my house (he has not paid maintenance and has no job and takes no real interest int he kids) when i am not there, he has befriended the boyfriend who is at home during the day as he works odd shifts and pulls in at my home when i am not there. The house is mine and the boyfriend lives with me. Am i correct in feeling annoyed about this?

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Our expert says:
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I agree with lulu

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Our users say:
Posted by: Anon | 2004/12/13

Thanx for the response Lulu! That is my exact sentiment - I have said to the boyfriend that they can have a friendship but as long as it is not in or around my home. He thinks I am being ridiculous but I am just so gatvol of this whole thing. I wish I could get rid of both of them, but I need the boyfriends rent as I am not getting maintenance. I have been to court and they are so slapgat and anyway, the ex does'nt own anything besides the car which is standing at a garage because the ex does'nt have money to pay for the repairs! The kid's are also so understanding of the idiot ex's position and make all kind of excuses for him and just think I am there with a never-ending supply of cash that keeps us going. I admit that i earn a decent salary, but hell, this is all getting too much for me! I just wish xmas would come and go as i am not in the spirit.....

Reply to Anon
Posted by: lulu | 2004/12/13

Yes you are definitly correct in feeling annoyed.

Your b/f needs to do a little explaining as to why he has been befriending your ex without you knowing about it. Then you have to make it clear that you cannot stay friends with both of them.

If he doesn't pay maintenance for the kids, takes no real interest in them and also doesn't have a job, what's selling the car to the boyfriend going to help? So basically he'll give the b/f his car and the payment due will be yours towards maintenance? DON'T agree to this under any circumstances. It's not legal and it can backfire on you.

If you require maintenance from him, go to court for it. He's not obligated to pay anything now, since he's unemployed, but the court can order the selling of assits he might have (like his car or house etc.) so as to provide for his children. They will also order him to find a job in a certain space of time so that he can contribute towards the upbringing of his children. Failing to do so, you are entitled to claim against his parents for maintenance for the kids.

As for the visits while you're not there: If you don't want the ex in your house, let your b/f know this. If he doesn't respect your wishes, he's entitled to have his friendship with the ex, but outside of your property and without expecting you to consent to it.

Good luck!

Reply to lulu

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