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Question
Posted by: Lolo | 2008/01/10

your opinion is important to me please!

i have protection order against my b/f for physical abuse but i granted him to visit his child, yesterday i phoned family advocate as to how to monitor his visits and he said is not a problem if someone from my family is there because the child is 2yr and he cant take her out as the child might want to sleep sometimes.

now next week is my LO's birthday and he is offering to do something for LO, how should i handle this to be on a safe site with my protection order.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Am I understanding that the problem is that he wants to do something for the child's birthday ? A gift should be no problem. If he wants to help pay for a aprty for the child, that too need be no problem. If he wants to host or run the party, that would probably go beyond the terms of the existing agreement. Maybe the Family Advocate needs to advise on this, too ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Dejavu | 2008/01/10

Find out what he wants to do for the LO, for eg 1.take her out or 2.buy a huge gift or 3.throw some little do at some place. If #1 or 3 applicable, explain the access & visitation conditions (in fact show him the documents stipulating this) and if you are available on the day, tell him that you will be present at whichever place he is taking the child.
You have the protection order. He cant really do anything funny because if he does, you can enforce it. Ensure that the family advocate knows about your plans as well and he/she will recommend further measures to take in order to comply with the law.

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