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Posted by: Dude | 2004/11/17

yesterday

Hi there...

Yesterday morning I woke up next 2 a princess and we cuddled from 4 to 5... she made me milo... she wasn't feelin that great as she had menangitis and I had been carin 4 her 4 a week or 2... i was very appreciative for that cup.

work was smooth and i got off early to go choose some basins for the vanities in the house... I arrived home... her car wasn't there, I thought she was out 2 the shops, naughty... she should be in bed gettin better... I entered the house, up to the room, saw a note attached to light ... Dear John...

From where it came I already know, I thought we were workin things out and the mornings affection was only a last intamicy before the rejection...

I don't know how to feel right now doc... I don't know how I feel right now... its slowly sinkinin, i went into a sort of shock... I thought we were going to get it right this time.. the second time... am not sure what is happenin right now as u already know... I am one of those people who say :I DON"T KNOW:

phoned a friend for a life line and he brought me a joint that tasted fine... a long break due to princess justification... now the princess has left with no more contact specified in her Dear John... am trying not to ponder where did i go wrong... she said I didn't keep my word, I didn't start up her business and she didn't gell with my family... she said I change my mind to often

she said she's gone for good and I should never contact her...

don't know how i feel, 2 hours sleep and a heap of shyte at work... off to an interview later today... tech test tomorrow... inner strength will have to borrow...

some doors close and some doors open, I feel a bit in the dark side of a 4 walled room right now... i wish I could just stay there a while and get back to grips with myself but find that the world has no time for recovery...

i watched a couple up the elevator the other day... the guy was standin motionless as his girl loved him, u could see she loved him... I knew that I didn't have a love for me from my princess like that... she was always seeing wrong when I wanted to show her some right... we did fight... no more though.... i thought being in disagreement was part of growth... I guess I spoilt it but I know I shouldn't think that way...

alone in a huge house now... so huge it's makin me small... all i wanna do is go hit some golf balls... work, tests, continuety... hookers and drugs are callin me...

when is this shyte going to hit cause it's seepin through slowly today... yesterday i was numb and this morning to... people at work ask how she is and I just say fine... am tryin not to come across rude, its harder to smile today...

and a broken promise to myself when I said I would not let anyone ever take my smile away

Cheers
Dude

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Hi Dude,
Terribly sorry to hear of your bad news. This sort of experience is never ever pleasant or easy to deal with, especially when, as you have, one has invested so much love and concern in helping the person who has left you. It sounds, from what I recall of previous messages, as if she had quite enough reasons within her own problems, to be able to reach this sort of situation all on her own, and not necessarily for it to have been related to anything specific you did, or did not do. In relationships, as in life, we do our best, and they don't always turn out the way we wanted. At least you can know, that you have shown considerable skills at being loving and loyal under difficult circumstances, which can be great strengths in another relationship, with a happier ending.
Disagreements can indeed be part of growth, but some people are much less skilled at growth than you are. Hitting the golf balls may bhe a good idea ; the hash and hookers NOT a good idea, and fruit for adding more problems before you've cleared your plate from the current pile.
We react to such traumas with a range of responses --- denial. numbness, anger, sadness, and working out a better way to cope. That smile should be back before too long. As Paris says, take support from your family now, and they're likely to understand the situation. You're enough of a man to cry, too, and know that it's [proper and healing. And the bassett won't be writing any Dear Boss letters. :}
It sounded, before, and now, as if she is poor at taking personal responsibility for her own choices and actions. It should never have been seen as any task of yours to "start" her business --- that was her job, and you ought not to be blamed if she didn't do what was needed. She had too much interest in finding what was wrong, and too little interest in herself fixing it ; too interested in excuses, and too little in responsibilities ; too keen on taking, and too little interested in giving.
Good luck with the interview and the test. Gosh, just in the process of installing an ADSL line, here, and I bought and installed my own Ethernet card, and am very temporarily feeling like an IT engineering genius !
Cheers

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Dude | 2004/11/17

Thank you everyone...

I shall go hit some balls, work out at the gym and do my studyin... I'll take this as a learning experience and move on as u have mentioned time does heal... I am a warrior... try stay away from the smoke and hazey stuff as best I can... will stand on my feet and be a man...

even if it feels like I am half of what i used to be... I saw the sun rise today and kissed my little basset goodbye... going to have an interview, a bit of food and maybe a good cry...

cheers
Dude

Reply to Dude
Posted by: lolo | 2004/11/17

<<<<<HUGGGIES>>>> there's a saying that says you'll have to meet the wrong ones before the good, its life but you have to take it like the man you are and been to this woman who obviously just wanted to use you....big up for being caring and loving to her you sure deserve better

Dont throw away the person you are because of her or anyone...DON"T GIVE UP NOW BROER- HANG IN THERE MISS RIGHT WILL COME AROUNG YOU'LL SEE!!!!

Reply to lolo
Posted by: Mona | 2004/11/17

My heart realy goes out to you, wish i could just email myself to you to give you a great big <<<HUG>>> I agree that it sounded like she was using you for money and comfort. She is using the family as an excuse. Maybe the family saw her for what she was... as they say love is blind, you didnt see it coming.... So sorry for you, but cliche cliche (sux) Time heels all wounds! Keep strong, keep smiling, keep facing the sun and the shadows will fall behind you! xxx

Reply to Mona
Posted by: Anon | 2004/11/17

hell dude
bummer..... hey, you sound like a fantastic guy - keep up your sense of humour (even though you dont feel it right now - it comes out in your positing, believe it or not!!). She was obviously just looking to use you so feel relieved that you were'nt taken for a ride. let her get on with her life and god help her next "victim" who will help set up her business.
dont take the joint, hooker route - you are too strong for that and anyway, it will just confuse you more because when you come down from the zol, your issues will still be there and after a nite with a hooker, you will have to look at yourself in the mirror? Hang in there brother and strength to you

Reply to Anon
Posted by: PARIS | 2004/11/17

Sorry i meant to say Dude. Typo!!!

Reply to PARIS
Posted by: PARIS | 2004/11/17

Hi Diablo,

Dude, im sorry for the way you feeling. You sound like such a nice guy and i would love to give you a hug right now. But every thing will be alright. And to tell you honestly i think you are better without her. Here are my thoughts.

The fact that you never started her business just tells you that she wasn't with you because she truely loved you. It was all about money. She never had the decency to tell you her reasons face to face, instead she left you a sloppy dear john letter. She didn't take to your family and vice versa. Sorry to say this but your family probably judged what she was like from the beginning and was right about her. Go to them for support. Family is so important during a time like this.

Diablo, you are so much better than this. You deserve some one to give you what you're looking for. Honesty, love, compassion and trust. From what you're saying, she gave you non of this.

Dont feel small in a big house. Nows the time to start getting your friends there to entertain. You will eventually find some one who gives you what you give them, and Diablo, cut her out of your life.

Talk if you need to. Be strong my friend.

PARIS
XXX

Reply to PARIS
Posted by: Paul | 2004/11/17

Dude, I really truly honestly feel for you. Some woman dont deserve good men.

Reply to Paul
Posted by: Julia | 2004/11/17

Dearest Dude,

that wasn't nice of her ... so many things going through your mind like how long was she planning on leaving you and why the cuddle????

Keep strong and remember that every cloud has a silver lining!

Don't be foolish and turn to drugs and hookers ... rather hit a couple of golf balls to get the madness out!

Be strong and good luck!

Reply to Julia

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