Our expert says:
Terribly sorry to hear of your bad news. This sort of experience is never ever pleasant or easy to deal with, especially when, as you have, one has invested so much love and concern in helping the person who has left you. It sounds, from what I recall of previous messages, as if she had quite enough reasons within her own problems, to be able to reach this sort of situation all on her own, and not necessarily for it to have been related to anything specific you did, or did not do. In relationships, as in life, we do our best, and they don't always turn out the way we wanted. At least you can know, that you have shown considerable skills at being loving and loyal under difficult circumstances, which can be great strengths in another relationship, with a happier ending.
Disagreements can indeed be part of growth, but some people are much less skilled at growth than you are. Hitting the golf balls may bhe a good idea ; the hash and hookers NOT a good idea, and fruit for adding more problems before you've cleared your plate from the current pile.
We react to such traumas with a range of responses --- denial. numbness, anger, sadness, and working out a better way to cope. That smile should be back before too long. As Paris says, take support from your family now, and they're likely to understand the situation. You're enough of a man to cry, too, and know that it's [proper and healing. And the bassett won't be writing any Dear Boss letters. :}
It sounded, before, and now, as if she is poor at taking personal responsibility for her own choices and actions. It should never have been seen as any task of yours to "start" her business --- that was her job, and you ought not to be blamed if she didn't do what was needed. She had too much interest in finding what was wrong, and too little interest in herself fixing it ; too interested in excuses, and too little in responsibilities ; too keen on taking, and too little interested in giving.
Good luck with the interview and the test. Gosh, just in the process of installing an ADSL line, here, and I bought and installed my own Ethernet card, and am very temporarily feeling like an IT engineering genius !
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