Our expert says:
Within a mariage or continuing relationship, if the sex becomes boring BOTH parties are responsible for this. It does indeed take two to tango. Is he really so uninterested in improving the situation that be can't be bothered to tighten the screws on the bed-springs ? How would he react if you climbed under the bed with a spanner when he was ready to go to sleep ? And perhaps a spray can of oil ?
This may be a thoughtless, but not really an abusive relationship. Maybe you both in different ways feel hurt by each other.
Why not seriously consider, and suggest, marriage counselling, as the problem is surely based on rather more than just squeaky bed springs ? OK, you had the misfortune to find a dud counsellor the first time round. But if you had both run into a dud mechanic, wouldn't you still take your car to a different mechanic for further more expert work on it ? And be demanding ( politely ) with any counsellor, if you find them being unhelpful, and make it clear what both of you want from him/her.
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