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Question
Posted by: Mrs F | 2007/03/23

worried mom

I'm a mom of a 13yr boy. I sometimes dont understand his emotions because when I try to talk to him about something,be it his schoolwork,or his behaviour, he doesn't answer me and when I insist that he answer me,he starts to cry everytime. I told him to attend an xtra maths lesson,but he doesn't. Now its the school holidays & I'm telling him that he should attend, he refuses and started to cry. I'm becoming worried, pls help.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageTeen expert

Hi worried mom,

at 13 many young people withdraw into themselves and find it hard to communicate on an emotional level - this is especially the case with boys.

he will need gentle encouragement as to what the problems are and you may need someone neutral to help talk with him - maybe an older sibling or a family friend he gets on well with may be able to ask him what is troubling him.

with regards to the extra maths i would suggest you back off for now, you can always approach this again when you have an understanding of what is bothering. i would also strongly suggest that extra lessons in his holiday are not a good idea at any time. children have holidays for a reason and all too often they are not allowed to be children and have to constanty worry about studying - allow him some space in this regard and keep extra lessons for term times would be my advice.

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