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Question
Posted by: Thobile | 2004/11/09

Worried about little sister

As I am writing this message right now my eyes are filled with tears. I have a little sister whom I loved very much, but ever since she got pregnant last year and got a baby. Her boyfriend promised that he was going to marry her. My sister has changed totally. I am a 32 years old and she is 23. We fought the last time and she told my neighbours how jeolous I am for her because I dont have a boyfriend and she is going to get married and I am barren. I used to buy her clothes and I took her to school, but look what she is doing to me now.

When I want to go home I feel like killing myself because I dont want to see her. She has thought her boyfriend to look down at us when he comes in and finds us he just goes straight to her bedroom and then come out.

My parents are sick and tied of this because he has no respect for them as well as the whole family.

I know I can sound very jeolous but I always pray unto the lord that he must reply my prayers because this is going very far. She took everything that I bought for her and gave the clothes to the Umkhozi's she said she does not care anymore.

Please advise I am a very soft spoken and kind person and dont know how to handle this.

My heart is so heartbroken.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Thobile, I run across many examples like this, of truly foolish young girls who seem to imagine that simply becoming pregnant is somehow an enormously clever thing to have done. Yet every animal manages it without making a fuss about it, and it required nothing clever or difficult on her part, to achieve it. I would stop buying her clothes, etc., now, as she has turned on you unpleasantly, and chosen to have different and cheap values.
And until she can afford her own home, or moves to his, they have no right to use your home or your parents home, as a site for sex while treating the owner of the place where she is staying, with so much disrespect. I would tell her and the man who is using her, that he is not allowed to visit her in your home ( or your parents home ) unless he treats all of you with proper respect.
I don't think you're being jealous at all, You are responding naturally and understandably to a silly girl who is busy trying to spend her life pregnant until she gets AIDS ( which, the way she seems to be behaving, is a very real risk for her ). She has been unnecessarily cruel and hurtful towards you, and you have no need to make her welcome in your home. And I agree with sister too.
You are not barren, but prudent and wise. Maybe, though she'd never admit it, she is jealous of that about you.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Sister too | 2004/11/09

All I can say "any-one that urinates on the tree that feeds him/her will eat urinated fruits"

Tell your parents to stop the boyfriend from coming in and out of their house as if he owns the place he must respect them else he should never step in their house again. They must also tell the sister as well that if they don't respect theit house they should just as well move out with their child and go where they don't have to respect anybody.

We all have sisters we envy at certain things but then again we love them so much we'll do anything/everything to have their friendship/love. You might not have the chil or boyfriend but you have things she does nnot have... think baout those for a minute and be greatful.

Then... for the last time, go to her and tell her how you feel and how you wish the two of you can be connected again. Be honest to her about everything, then live it up to her to decide whether she wants to make things right or not.

You can't keep on being the giver and she the ungrateful backstabbing receiver... sooner or later if she continues you have to accept she does not need you anymore and you ahve to stop pushing yourself onto her and let her face life without your help.


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