Posted by: mpho | 2004/01/13

worried about having a baby out of wedlock

I know this might sound old-fashioned to some but i am really worried about having this baby.I am 25 years old and 7 weeks pregnant and not married.I am in a relationship but i don't know whether we will end up married coz we both have to sort out things before we can reach that stage of marriage.What if im being unfair to my baby because i really want to have this child but maybe i won't be able to give him/her a real family life.maybe its the hormones coz i don't even feel like making love with my man(thank god we don't live together).I don't even feel like seeing him.I just feel tired and confused.What does this mean?Is it my innerself telling me that this pregnancy is a mistake or what? Please advise me on what to do.I know i dont want to have an abortion but sometimes i wonder...

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dear mpho,
There's nothing particularly old-fashioned about feeling the concerns you describe. And in fact this range of worries, concerns and confusions is probably rather common among pregnant women. The concerns are valid and sensible. Counselling would be the best idea, to help sort out more objecively all the competing and sometimes conflicing concerns that are arising. Also, do you have both good woman friends and family with whom you can discuss th situation and your ideas ?

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