Our expert says:
I understand your view as to sexual politics at work, and such a policy works quite well IF all the participants are similarly adult and intelligent. And your colleague is not. He apparently has a range of personal problems which he is improperly pling on you, expecting quasi-therapy at work, interfering with your ability to do your own work and surely he with his.
Calmly but very firmly tell him this is not acceptable, and goes beyond normal collegial relationships and boundaries. You are concerned that he has some problems and issues, and are entirely unqualified and unable to help him with them. He should arrange to see a proper psychologist for an assessment and advice, and you hope this will prove very helpful for him.
But that you will NOT accept any further long personal discussions of these issues in the office ; and outside the office, in your private life, you are happilly married and won't accept any intrusion from office matters or people.
If he refuses to accept this good advice, speak to someone in HR about this, as he needs assistance and official encouragement to get the help he needs, rather than the instrusive chat he seems to want.
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