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Question
Posted by: Nats | 2004/10/26

Working mother

I am at the moment feeling like a failure as a mother. My child which is 20 months old has to go in for a tonsilectomy on thursday, my boss is not giving me the day off. Now i have to either cancel for another 2 months, until the new year, or my mother has to be at the hospital to be there when my baby wakes up.

i feel like such a failure. i cant even be there for my baby when he needs me. i cant resign my job, we would not survive.

i can never be there for my son when he is sick. me and him have not really go much of a bond, because whenever he is sick my mom has to look after him.

what can i do. i am a bad mother........

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Nats, you're no a bad mother. Bad mothers don't feel bad, the way you do, and they don't post messages like you did. Sorry to hear of the Bad Boss, though. Maybe it is worth discussing this with HR, as the refusal to give you a day off is unreasonable. And as ALso a Mom says, what about a day of your annual PAID compassionate leave ? And yes, check with the Dept of Labour here, and maybe ask them if they can contact him to confirm your rights.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: MAMMA | 2004/10/27

You are by law entitled to 3 days paid compassionate leave per year.

Please stand up for your rights. I am also a working mother, and know that feeling of failure very well. When my child is really ill or have to undergo an operation, I will however, ask for annual leave or my entitled compassionate leave.

Hope everything goes well!

Reply to MAMMA
Posted by: PP | 2004/10/27

Hi Nats

My little one had his tonsils out a few months ago. He cried a bit when he woke up from the anesthetic and then slept for most of the day afterwards. Make sure that you send him to hospital with a special toy to cuddle or favourite blankie and a few storybooks for you mom (or hopefully you) to read to him. Get some jelly tots or chewy sweets from him. (Chewing helps with the heeling process).
Good luck, and I’m sure you’ll get the day off after contacting your HR dept to explain the situation.

Reply to PP
Posted by: Chelle | 2004/10/26

The labour law protects against employers like yours. In a situation like this again, you should tell your boss you need to take time off instead of asking. Of course, if you take time of regularly then I can understand the boss not wanting to give you more time, but in this instance you are entitled to take the day off, by law.

Reply to Chelle
Posted by: Also a mom | 2004/10/26

You are intitled to compassionate leave, 3 days a year. Phone Dept of Labour to confirm. PS this is PAID!!!

Reply to Also a mom
Posted by: Shaun | 2004/10/26

Hi Nats,

If you have leave available then go to HR with your story & explain your needs.
Not a good suggestion coz you already asked but maybe you can take a day or morning off sick.

Tonsils is not a major procedure & kids recover very quickly, but I can understand your dilemna. If all these things are not possible, then make sure you get him some lekker stuff to show that you are sorry for not being there & missing his op.

Sorry girl, but thats all I can think of for now. Hope you find a way around it that satisfies you.

Take care,
Shaun

Reply to Shaun

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