Our expert says:
it's no more your job to make and keep everyone else happy, than it's their job to make and keep you happy. And maybe your fiancee needs to continue to make major efforts on her own to deal with her debts, rather than leaving it to you ; and over-extending yourself, financially, benefits neither of you. And as you've found, over-smoking or drinking, doesn't help at all.
Maybe the timetable you've set yourselves is unrealisic, and it'd be worth taking more time before the wedding, so as to be much less stressed --- afterall, the main aim is supposed to be to enjoy yourselves. Mayb she can get an extra job to pay off her own debts, AND to contribute to the costs of the house, etc. And do you actually need to start married life in a house, rather than a flat, to give time to save up enough for the house you need, without excessive debts and stress > You are doing far, far too much. And collapsng halfway up the aisle with a ruptured ulcer or a heart attack, is no good for her, either.
And if you check out the archive of this Forum, you'll find we've discussed a range of ways to handle stress, before. And seeing a counsellor, to learn HOW to slow down usefully, and how to handle stress better, could be an excellen investment.
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