Posted by: Kelly | 2008/07/10

Withdrawal because of dad being away

Hi Doc
My fiance is overseas on business for 6 months and we have an 18 month old son. For the past month he has been coping fine with his dad being away, asking the occasional questions about his dad etc - which i thought to be normal. But for the past 2 weeks he became very clingy, restless at night and doesnt want to go to anyone besides me. He also hasnt asked about his dad in a while so i'm thinking that maybe he realises that he's dads away for far too long. His resistance is also very low and he gets sick often. Could this be a result of him missing his dad and thinking that his dad might never come back? How do i explain to him whats happening and that his father will return to him?

He makes me really sad when i look at him and i just wish he could see his dad and know that everything is going to be fine.

Please assist

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Our expert says:
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Remember at his age, a child does not have any adult sense of time. So it may feel after a relatively short time, that dad is away for ever and ever, and unlikely to return. And as long as dad is out of sight, the child won't have a concept of where else he might be.
Is there any possibility of Dad sending him some pictures via e-mail, even managing some short phone-calls, so the kid can hear dad's voice ? Maybe make a wall chart showing the days since Dad left and until he returns, and help him to tick off each day as it passes, to help him have some idea of how this time is going by

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Our users say:
Posted by: Phontie | 2008/07/11

Hi Kelly the boy is 18 months not 18 years this is all in your head and you are affecting him cause babies at their early age they can sence if we not happy somebody correct me if I m wrong

Reply to Phontie

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