Posted by: angel | 2009/06/22

with the wrong man

I' m in a relationship with a guy I' m trying so hard to love like he loves me.he' s the most incredible guy that' s ever walked my path.
I sometimes am so happy with him that I start planning my life away with him..
he fights with me alot. he' s checked up on me at work once (i was purely working) he is very insecure although he says he isn' t.
I,v told him so many times to stop but he always manages to start up again
I am not all that insecure with him but I can' t really invite my male friends to our get togethers coz he' s not happy with me being around other men even if they are friends.
once again he denies that this upsets him but I know him very well and I know he doesn' t like it at all
we' ve gone through this so many times that I' m really starting to dream about being single again. life shouldn' t be this complicated
I just don' t know how to end things and if I actually should
he ended up in hospital more than once from me breaking up with him from panic.
I love him but not like I should.
am I clouded by all the nonsense he gives me or should I really move on or am i just too scared to be alone or without him?i' m scared of hurting him he' s got an incredible and trust worthy good side to him

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

With real love, one hardly needs to try so hard, does one ? Have you thought of some sessions of couples counselling, so you can each understand yourselves and each other a bit better ? Sounds like he is carrying a bundle of Issues arising from previous experiences, which could become problematic unless unpacked, washed, ironed, and folded away.
But then you say that more than once he has ended up in hospital when you broke up with him ? that suggests a high degree of inbstability and manipulativeness. Again, couples counselling might be helpful and if put properly to him, he might accept it

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Our users say:
Posted by: anonymous | 2009/06/24

A man insecure is a man being mistreated by the parents especially the mom as a child. This man is projecting childhood hurt upon you.Try to find his families background, how he grew up is the reason for his insecurity or else physical, mental and emotional abuse will become part of your life. If you like being free than this is not the man for you, he will be checking up on you all the time.

Reply to anonymous
Posted by: Liza | 2009/06/23

If he does something stupid if you break up with him, its his CHOICE and not your fault in any way. But trying to break up with him and then coming back when he lands in hospital is either allowing him to manipulate you, or sending him the wrong signals. Either way, if you want to break up with him, just do it and don' t look back. He needs to sort out his problems on his own. And if you still think it' s too difficult to break up, go for counseling together and that will lead you in the right direction.

Good Luck

Reply to Liza
Posted by: Ja | 2009/06/23

He' s insecurity stems from your feelings. He can see/feel it.

Reply to Ja

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