Posted by: Rosie | 2004/01/13

Will he sleep with this boy?

I have written to you before about the man I live with who had touched a underaged boy years ago. This "boy" is now 19 and has surfaced again. He is now starting to visit us and staying over and I am absolutely terrified that it might happen again. Am I being stupid and should I talk to my boyfriend about this. He did ask me to give the boy a chance to show that he has changed and he calls him dad although he was only a foster child then. I am going absolutely crazy and do not know how to handle this whole situation. At first I tried very hard to accept this child in our house but after every visit I sigh from relieve that he has left.

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Our expert says:
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Dear Rosie,
Touching boys, in a sexual sense, is wrong. By the time they get to 19 or so, the balance changes. It's possible that the boy has some interest in some form of relationship with your man, maybe he's looking for a father-son form of relationship, or the whole thing could be far more sick and disturbed. Surely it's at least worth talking to your bf about this, rather than being concerned while remaining unsure of what's actually happening ?
But why should the boy be "given a chance to show he's changed "? The boy was a boy, it was your bf who got inappropriately involved with him, wasn't it ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Brownsuga | 2004/01/15

This boy obviously had a toubled childhood, so for you, as a woman, to call him scum because he was on drugs at the age of 8 is beyond me. What is even more scary is that after your bf molestered him (adding to his troubled childhood) you can still make it seem like this boy is the problem. One day when you have a child and you bf molestes them too, you will blame the child. All of you need help. As for your bf, he better get help before he hurts any more kids.

Reply to Brownsuga
Posted by: Scorpio | 2004/01/14

I would suggest you remove the boy from your home - masturbating all over the house is not acceptable.....

Reply to Scorpio
Posted by: J | 2004/01/14

No - your bf took advantage of a CHILD. There is never an "excuse " for that. If you think its acceptable then YOU need help too.

Reply to J
Posted by: Rosie | 2004/01/14

When I met my bf he told me what had happened years ago and that he realised when he touched the boy that it was wrong. He is NOT a child molester as some of the replies indicate. The BOY liked to masturbate all over the house and that was what triggered this whole episode. Please let me stress that he at no stage sexually abused the boy. This BOY is scum, used drugs from the age of 8 (his mother was a prositute) when my bf and his ex took him into their home to as a foster child. The fact that this boy has surfaced after 4 years is what is worrying me. Does this give you a better explanation?

Reply to Rosie
Posted by: wow | 2004/01/13

ur bfrend is worse then michael jackson

Reply to wow
Posted by: J | 2004/01/13

Hang on.....

Why should you "give the boy a chance"??

What did the boy do? Your BOYFRIEND molested him! Good grief woman. Get the boy out of the house and tell your so called boyfriend (the very thought that you accept someone like this as a lover is appalling to me - my opinion) that he needs help!

Reply to J

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