advertisement
Question
Posted by: Just me!!! | 2005/11/22

Will he be a good stepdad???

I'm devorced. My son is now 5 yrs old. I met a really nice guy. And he's really good with my son. But he had a traumatic childhood - a really bad stepmom. She spanked him for every thing he did, and with anything she could lay her hands on. She also locked him up if he was naughty (I mean just a kid being naughty). Do you think he'll go the same path with my son? Like I said, he's treating him really well at the moment.

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

OK, so he had a miserable cvhildhood. That doesn't predict what sort of parent he will be --- he could imiate his horrible stepmom, of course, but he may well have concluded that this sort of thing must never happen again, and be determined to be a superb step-dad.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

10
Our users say:
Posted by: Tiekie | 2005/11/22

Nee was nog nooit getroud nie, het al 'n paar keer aan my boyfriends propouse maar hulle wil nie byt nie.

Reply to Tiekie
Posted by: X | 2005/11/22

'Refrase' jou eie kinders en was jy al ooit getroud

Reply to X
Posted by: Tiekie | 2005/11/22

Waffir een?

Reply to Tiekie
Posted by: X | 2005/11/22

Tiekie hoe oud is jou kind

Reply to X
Posted by: Tiekie | 2005/11/22

X ek issie skeef nie maar dink sterk daaraan om 'n girlfriend te kry.

Delene, kalmeer. Ek het al saam met 7 mans gebly en elkeen was 'n hond teenoor my kind so ek weet waarvan ek praat. Alle mans is varke.

Reply to Tiekie
Posted by: Delene | 2005/11/22

Oh and May I say....It also depend on you, AND the kiddie.

A spoilt brat is more difficult to accept, than a decent mannered child...That is just human.

And mothers must not jump in between if he disciplins the child. Ohh thats difficult.
I just walk away, bite on my tongue & let them sort each other out.
i think if i had to get inbetween, it would be big fights at the end between me & my husband.

Reply to Delene
Posted by: Delene | 2005/11/22

tiekie you cant say that!!???

My husband treats my kids better than what I treat them and not 1 of them is his own. Just because your experience is bad, doesnt mean all men are bad.
And i told you earlyer, you complain about him all the time...then LEAVE HIM!!!
At least for your child's sake!

Just me.....For how long do you know him!?
True colors always shows after a while. I dont believe a person can know in only a few months.
In the beginning, they are ALWAYS nice to you & the kids.....
but there are not many guys who can accept stepkids as their own.

and is the main reason for the love i have for my husband
he LOVES my children.
he is a better father to them than their own dad could ever be.
and can I tell you something, for that reason alone, I married him. not because i loved him.
I loved my ex as well, but he treated my kids bad, so i didnt wanna marry him.
Its cuz he accepted the kids.....
its the most important thing to make a complicated relationship like this work


Reply to Delene
Posted by: X | 2005/11/22

Hi Tiekie is jy dan nou skeef, onthou it takes two to tango. 'n

When you had a bad childhood does not nececary mean that you will be a bad parent, but then again, if you were scared emotionally and traumatised as a child and never recieved propper counseling then you are bad news for kids.

Reply to X
Posted by: crimsonkc | 2005/11/22

Just me, hi

This is a situation that you can't really pin down. It depends entirely on how he feels and what type of person he is.

You must remember, he will always have to live with the knowledge that the kid is not his. Whatever he does, he will be under the spotlight. Things that can be said by the real dad is taken for granted and accepted as his given right. A step dad does not have the luxuary.

Give the relationship more time. Who knows, his true colours may show.

Reply to crimsonkc
Posted by: Tiekie | 2005/11/22

Moet liewers nie huisie huisie speel nie. My boyfriend behandel my kind soos rubbish en joune gaan dit ook doen. Kry liewerste vir jou 'n girlfriend.

Reply to Tiekie

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement