Posted by: Robby | 2007/11/30


Hello there Shrinky.

My wife and I are married now 2 years. We have been with each other for 5.. we pretty young I am 31 and she is 28. Now my wife gets defensive quite alot. Her family especially her father was born defensive. They cannot accept defeat. They are always right. Now this is affecting my relationship with my wife. She is always defensive all the time. U see I have treatable- anxiety dis-order and she always says that I complain too much, I try telling het that it is normal..she ten starts "performing" an opera.

I am sometimes a bit "naggy" but it goes with the territory.. Anyway I am unemplyed and she is working. We both have just come back to durban from JHB ( iggest mistake I have ever made)

My point is that I am so depressed right now.. I Feel like a LOSER. I have tried everything to finda job but nothing. I partnered with my father-inlaw.. didn't workout...

Now me being unemployed is always been thrown back on my face. I feel do -de-motivated. My family is always there for me.

But I don't know what to do...

Is there any advise as to where I can start?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

So perhaps she has learned certain modes of responding to situations, from her family ? And under stress ( both of you are in a situation that is stressful ) these interpersonal difficulties are becoming more fraught and troublesome. Why not suggest calmly to her that yhe pair of you should invest in some sessions of marriage counselling ? She may be interested in doing so, so as to deal with the problems she experiences in your behaviour, but of course joint problems will all be on the agenda ithin such counselling.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Britty | 2007/11/30

As you cannot find a job how about doing charity work to fill in your time as its really rewarding and will help you get a better perspective of your own problems helping others. It works for me and I find myself a much happier person.

Reply to Britty

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