Our expert says:
Dear Mark B,
It sounds as if both of you have become rather messed up about this --- you describe excess jealousy, following her and "weird things" on your part ; and her conduct sounds highly unreasonable, too. As an adult, it's her job to "come out of her shell" and not to lie back and expect somone else to do this for her.
Wouldn't it be a good idea to try hard to get both of you involved in marriage counselling ? It sounds as if at least you each need counselling for yourselves, and there should still be a good chance of healing a relationship that has become strange and strained, with proper shared expert help. With three children, it seems very selfish for any adult to pursue "coming out of her shell" at their expense.
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