Posted by: Michael | 2011/06/02

Wife has joined a running club

My wife joined a running club. They go for runs at 5.30 pm and then go to the Club afterwards. She used to get home at about 8pm. The thing that is bothering me is it has now changed to 9.30pm the other week she got back at 11.20pm. I never go out like that during the week and it is starting to really irritate me. She is going to the Club prize giving and I know it will be another late night. She says dont worry I wont be going for the next six weeks as she has a runing injury. But that is not the point.
Should I go out late one night during the week to let her know what it feels like " a bit childish" .
I am never envited to her Club functions.
A bit of advice would be appreciated

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Anyone running or clubbing till 9.30 pm, let alone 11.30 pm, is not benefitting their health.
Are the Club functions all closed to spouses ? Surely they must have at least some which are open - yes, do go along.
Good ideas, too, about joining the club at least as a Supporter and going along.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Michael | 2011/06/09

venter you have got to be kidding.
It is just the comming home late that anoys me

Reply to Michael
Posted by: Venter | 2011/06/08

She is shagging, check her underwear when she gets back. Follow her and check out all her moves, go through cellphone &  sms messages to pick up a trend. Good luck.

Reply to Venter
Posted by: Z | 2011/06/03

Women are cheaters too. People always seem to criticise men the most and bad mouth us. If it were a guy doing that, he would certainly be bed hopping. So. Your wife is doing it with someone in the running club. If she had a kid at home, she would so want to come home to her family after her run. No mother stays out so often if she knows she has a kid at home. PS: No loving dad too. Join the running club and soon you''ll see, she want to quit. Then you know for sure whats going on. PS: Dont just join, run with her for a few months etc. and play the part/ role in supporting her. But be fair with yourself, if she is allowed this, you should be allowed to go out too any other night of the week

Reply to Z
Posted by: Just Saying! | 2011/06/03

Ja Gigi , she has no respect for her husband and kids, all need something to do like a hobbie or sport but not at the expense of a spouse hurt and confusion, you also sound like one of those selfish woman
Like michael said if it was the other way around it would have been world war 3, She is selfish finish and klaar and only think aobut her own needs, young kids needs attention with homework etc,
I stick to my suggestion, take charge of your relationship with your wife Michael and talk to her, not asking her but telling her how you feel,
I took all this crap from my previous marraige , well Like Gigi said, I was treated badly and told him to kiss my-|-goodbuy, People will only treat you the way you allow it and you are allowing her to treat you this,way, dont be ignorant, why can you not attend all the functions, get a babysitter and go with .
Cheating happens all the time, Flirting ,chatting up etc,
Dont be blind.

Reply to Just Saying!
Posted by: Michael | 2011/06/03

Not that easy GiGi we have young children so we cant both go.
All I''m asking for id for her to come back at a reasonable time, is that to much to ask ?

Reply to Michael
Posted by: GiGi | 2011/06/03

If I were the wife in this instance, I would appreciae it if my husband joined in and spent the time with me.
Just do it. Makes this about you and your wife and not about any one of you.

Reply to GiGi
Posted by: Laura | 2011/06/02

Tell her you feel left out, and that its not fair. Otherwise find something to do with your time, like spend time with your friends, hobbies etc. Sometimes, people need some space to feel their individuality. Doesnt mean she is having sex!

Reply to Laura
Posted by: Michael | 2011/06/02

Gigi would never do as last three post sujest.
It is just the comming home late tht irritates me.
If I did the same 3rd world war would happen

Reply to Michael
Posted by: GiGi | 2011/06/02

There are some people here that have no idea how to treat a women.
If I am treated any way NEAR anything in the last 3 posts. You can kiss my behind good bye. Get your stuff out the house before I get back from running !!

Reply to GiGi
Posted by: Just Saying! | 2011/06/02

She is enjoying the attention she gets at the club and has no respect for you or your marraige, You can go with to all these functions she is attending, dont trust the peace and take charge of your woman and your marraige, dont take her crap!!!

Reply to Just Saying!
Posted by: Rob | 2011/06/02

You are going to get one hell of a surprise!! She is most certainly hopping someone at the club!!! That is why she is now coming home later than usual!! And you must take a firm stand and let her know you are not happy with the fact that she goes out alone at night!!!!

Reply to Rob
Posted by: .. | 2011/06/02

Don''t be surprised if you find out she srewing some " co-runner"  Stop spoiling women by letting them do as they please in a quest to have a " good and understanding'' marriage!!!! Gosh!

Reply to ..
Posted by: Realist | 2011/06/02

Yes, join the Club even as a supporter, attend all the functions without exception, if she objects , or suddenly loses interest you know there is something fishy on the go, if she welcomes you, no problem !!

Reply to Realist
Posted by: Romany | 2011/06/02

Join the club as a supporter. No need to be a runner.
The fact that you invite her to all functions and you now feel left out is not the issue here.
She obviously enjoys socialising at the Runners Club and you should not wait for an invitation, but join the club and socialise with her.

Reply to Romany
Posted by: Michael | 2011/06/02

I cant run as i broke my heel a few years ago.
I ride bicycles no pressure on the heel.
Any function I have I envite her to attend.

Reply to Michael
Posted by: Queen | 2011/06/02

This is what worked for me when hubby was in a runners club.

Since he was happiest when with he was part of the club, there was no way I could ask him to quit. So I decided to share his interests. During the week I would attend all the time trials, prize giving etc. On weekends we would travel to different towns to attend races. After the race he would be so exhausted I had to drive. I also became a massage specialist because he got a lot injuries.This allowed us to spend maximum time together and we grew even closer.

My point is, you are a team. When you work as a team you can face anything.

Reply to Queen
Posted by: Tangy | 2011/06/02

Two wrongs dont make a by you going out one night and coming home late is not going to resolve the issue.

Sit down with your wife and expalin how you are feeling. Or if you enjoy running discuss joining the club as well then you both can do something you enjoy together.

Reply to Tangy
Posted by: Romany | 2011/06/02

2 wrongs never make a rite.
Yes, good advice from Dw. Join the club too.
If kids are a problem, get a baby sitter.

Reply to Romany
Posted by: dw | 2011/06/02

Why dont you join the running club too?

Reply to dw
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/06/02

Anyone running or clubbing till 9.30 pm, let alone 11.30 pm, is not benefitting their health.
Are the Club functions all closed to spouses ? Surely they must have at least some which are open - yes, do go along.
Good ideas, too, about joining the club at least as a Supporter and going along.

Reply to cybershrink

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