Posted by: Sad | 2012/09/07

Wife confessed she was not a virgin on wedding night

What to do?
Feel i was cheated
I was a vigin

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Our expert says:
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Sad, maybe, and she misled you about this particular thing --- maybe because she knew it would greatly worry you ? In every other way she is the person you thought she was. and despite having oher experiences, i was you she chose to marry and spend her life with.
And sadly this isn't uncommon where there is a break-up, temporarily in a relaionship. According to what you say of her story, she was forced or coerced into these two episodes of sex, rather than choosing to deliberately be with the other guy, and probably felt really ashamed of what happened. He took advantage of her when you were not, a that time, in a commited relationship with her. Forgive her, and yourself, and consider couples counselling if this continues to trouble you.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Brian | 2012/09/24

I know people purpesod to get pregnant as more as they counld because they know the stupid government as USA will take care of them. in our country single mom less then usa that''s why to day the USA receives the crisis of economics.hahahahaahahaha

Reply to Brian
Posted by: Sad | 2012/09/13

Scriptural you correct.
Unconditional love is they way to go.

Its a long road

Reply to Sad
Posted by: Maria | 2012/09/11

I''m sorry Nic but I have no idea what you''re on about.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: Nic | 2012/09/10

You may not have offended David, but you offended ME. " Religion trumping common sense ? You said it yourself. Common sense makes the most sense. T h i n k a b o u t i t.. Oh boy.....I feel like I was back in Gr 00.

Reply to Nic
Posted by: Maria | 2012/09/10

My apologies if I offend you David, but your story is typical of religion trumping common sense. She chose you, didn''t she? And you''ve been together for more than 3 decades! Doesn''t your religion also talk about forgiveness?

Reply to Maria
Posted by: David | 2012/09/10

My wife confessed to me after being married for 22 years in 2000, that she was not a virgin. It''s been 12 years and this confession still hurts and depresses me and, i often wonder whether she''s ever gotten over her first love who took her virginity ! The experts tell us that woman never forget their first sexual partner. I am of the opinion that ,Scriptually speaking,that''s when the 2 of them became 1 although they never got married.
I hope you will cope better than me- i am still battling !

Reply to David
Posted by: Maria | 2012/09/08

Sad, does this change the essence of who your wife is in any way? I respect you for waiting until marriage, but losing your virginity does not have to be such a big deal. You had broken up, she was free to do what she liked with whom she liked but vulnerable, and this guy seems to have taken advantage of her. Don''t be so hard on her, is this worth stressing over?

Reply to Maria
Posted by: Sad | 2012/09/07

thanks XXX
just she told me it happen when we broke up - took a break from our relationship - dating since high school i went to CPUT.
She met him on the train and she was forced by him to have sex.
Then because of guilt and his manipulation she had sex again with him.
I feel cheated out that special bond i was a virgin  during our break i could dated a girlfriend but i did not she was my first love.
The thing i cant get my head around is how can she tell me she didnt love the guy but she went and slept over by his house although he forced her she loved me

Reply to Sad
Posted by: XXX | 2012/09/07

I doubt that there are too many virgins these days when getting married.
It is not something to worry yourself too much about,she is still the same person that you loved before finding this out.
Just remember,she chose YOU to live the rest of her life with,that must count for something.

Reply to XXX

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