Our expert says:
Of course this is a devastating discovery, because you were cheated in so many ways - there was an affair, a failure to take preautions, you were lied to for years about the affair, and the child produced by the affair was passed off as your own child.
Oaternity tests can clarify whether either or both children are yours. But remember that the children are totally innocent, and their needs must be carefully protected. In effect, if you are not the biofather of the oldest child, you are effectively his/her adoptive father, and to him you are the only dad he/she has ever had.
There may be legal issues about arranging to formally adopt him, so as to protect his rights as your son.
See a counsellor to help you work out how best to cope with this, and what to do about the marriage.
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