Posted by: Desperate Dan | 2010/07/12


My wife has lost her libido, sex is still okay, but just okay, and only happens 2/3 times a month, and is very predictable, no forplay, and no adventure, toys have all been thrown away, no masturbation allowed. I am going crazy, as I adore her and get turned on every time I see her, but she has become fridgit, our relationship is still very good, and we are best friends, but she says that its just not important to her anymore, but she will always oblige for me, but I dont want favour quickies, I get turned on by her reaction when she is horny, but cant remember the last time she was.

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Dear Desperate Dan,

I can tell you that what you describe is not uncommon at all, especially in long term relationships. Sustaining an active sexual relationship is normatively more and more of a challenge as couples grow familiar with each other, as their family grows and children come on board, as life stressors impact on them, as the relationship itself faces challenges along the way, as they grow older and their bodies change and as their physical and mental health undergoes challenges along the way.

It is not possible to tell or predict from what you described as to what the contributing factors are to the changes you are experiencing in your sexual relationship with your wife.

I would strongly recommend as a couple you consider seeing a sex tharpist who couls assist you as a couple explore the factors and help you as a couple navigate and explore and improved and more satisying sexual connection again.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: H | 2010/07/13

Haar hormone is nie reg nie, laat sy na Dr toe gaan

Reply to H
Posted by: Yeah baby | 2010/07/12

Then make her horny!! For goodness sake... don''t be so lame. " My wife doesn''t wanna make passionate love to me like before... "  BOOHOOO... Maybe it''s time that you be the passionate man that she fell in love with. Be the tiger AGAIN that got her crazy before. Look at the way you have been treating her... REMEMBER: in marriage, it''s making love, not just having sex. Take a moment to think about what that really means... Intimacy... making your wife feel like a princess again... start with that and who knows pretty soon you might have your old wife back that can''t keep her hands off you.

Reply to Yeah baby
Posted by: Jox | 2010/07/12

For sure are you gonna shop around and seek it elsewhere. I did and it was wonderful.Since its just sex and nothing special, why not?

Reply to Jox
Posted by: Rob | 2010/07/12

I am in the same position as you exept that my wife will not have sex anymore since October 2009. Not interested she says but she will help me out. I wonder how they would have felt if the roles were swopped!!! She doesn''t get horny but I think she is not honest about this.

I cannot just have her masturbate me......I don''t even get an erection, it is totally without feeling. I know where this will end and have spoken to her but nothing!!! Time to look around?

Reply to Rob

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.