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Question
Posted by: serious | 2005/12/14

Why Why Why

I had a possessive man, we broke up and I immediately fell for someone who promised me, the world, he kept all his promises and we were madly in love for a good couple of months. Shortly after his brother passed on, I was at his place and a woman knocked at his door and kept on calling out his name, I didnt react as I could not beleive what was going on, I just left and didnt speak to him for about a week. He called me, and explained that he got another woman prgnant (this woman is his friend), I "forgave" him and soon found out that he was seeing this woman, at this stage I found out that I was pregnant, but I lost the baby after two weeks of finding out. This guy has messed up my life and the problem is that he still doesnt see it and I'm an idiot for still loving him. He says he's happy about the child and he expects the same from me, I dumped him (this was difficult) and he says its not going to happen. WHAT DO I DO, WHY AM I STILL IN LOVE WITH HIM?

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Our expert says:
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ebound relationships are always really risky. Stop forgiving this guy --- forgiveness that encourages the person to continue being bad, is not a good thing He is not loveable and does not deserve your love

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Our users say:
Posted by: serious | 2005/12/15

Thanks guys, I really needed this

Reply to serious
Posted by: Whattodo | 2005/12/15

You are still in love with what he was. With the him you believed him to be not the him that he has now revealed himself to be. I'm so sorry because this kind of heartache and disappointment is very difficult to deal with and will take plenty of time and strength. God bless

Reply to Whattodo
Posted by: Delene | 2005/12/15

WHo knows why you are still inlove with him if you are. I believe you are, as you fell inlove with what you THOUGHT he is, and was so harshly betrayed. Maybe you are hoping that things can go back the way it was?

Sorry, but it can never go back the way it was.
You said it yourself...he messed up your life. But if he still goes on, its because you are allowing him KNOWINGLY that he aint no good for you.
I dont know why we do that to ourselves, but many of us allow that till you reach breaking point.

If you are not receiving any counceling, I strongly suggest that. It will help you to think straight abit.

I think it would be in your best interest to break ALL contact with him. that aint easy. but if you can control yourself to cut him off completely, you will be able to move on in good time. But be patient with yourself. And be strong. Do it for yourself.

Reply to Delene

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