Our expert says:
We differ in the extent and strength of our inheren sexual desire ; and stress affects us differently --- some yearn for more sex, as a form of natural tranquilizer, some her turned off by stress. Your efforts to enter his fantasy world are interesting, but seemingly failing, as he retreats to porn and images to avoid actual personal relationship, so portraying yourself in the same way doesn't encourage him to actually relate to you. He seems, as many do, to be using porn as an avoidance of actual sexual relationships, rather than as part of them. You may be trying too hard, perhaps seeming so needy that he feels more inadequate to meet those needs. Porn has the advantage of making no demands whatever on the observer.
John's observations are characteritically thoughtful and helpful.
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