Our expert says:
If it doesn't hurt, it isn't love. let me clarify. Love itself doesn't hurt, as such. But it involves such a strong attachment to someone else, such a vulnerability, that the ending of such a relationship inevitably hurts. If ending it doesn't really hurt, then it wasn't much of a relationship. Now, one need no allow oneself to be overwhelmed by the hurt, and one can grow through the experience and become usefully stronger, especially with counselling.
But yes, do see a counsellor to work out all these confusing issues and conflicting feelings. From the sound of it, you did nothing wrong, but he has fallen in love with drugs, instead. And you absolutely do NOT need a drug addict and drug dealer as a boyfriend--- that could bring you nothing except grief.
Indeed, if he is now involved in that scene, things were most probably NOT all that perfect until a couple of months ago, but he hid the imperfections from you.
You deserve someone far, far, better than this guy, but you won't find them until you let go of this drug-pickled loser.
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