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Question
Posted by: Confused | 2004/02/23

Why does love hurt so much?

I broke up with my boyfriend a month ago but we have been fighting with each other for 2 months. He was the most important person in my life. But he changed so dramatcially. When we first started this fight, he started to ingore me. When I phoned he would not answer, he never phoned to talk to me or see how I am. I did not spend Christmas with me (Christmas day was also our one year engagement anniversary). He did not even get me anything for Christmas. He did not spend New Years with me. So I had to spend it with a friend. We tried to sort things out and I went home for a week. During this week, he told me that he started taking and dealing in drugs. He said that he did not want to be close to me anymore. He started crying and said that he did not have feelings for me anymore. He wanted to work things out but he also did not want to work it out either. While I was at home for that week, he never came home once. He came home at 6am, bath and then leave until the next day. We spent the enitre weekend away from me. Then I had to take off work because of depression and he never phoned to see if I was ok and he left without even checking if there was food in the house for me to eat. And when I would cry then he would tell me to shut up or I must go sleep in the lounge. If I asked him anything, then he would scream at me and would say that it won't work coz I keep on carrying on with my rubbish. I love this guy so much and he has never ever done any of the stuff above until 2 months ago. I don't understand how he could have changed after 3 years of being together. I keep thinking that I did something to make him hate me so much. I don't think I will take him back because of the hurt he has cause me but whenever I think of all the ugly things he has done to me, it makes me feel really inferior and the hurt comes back again and I can't help but crying. We have been apart for a month but the hurt is still there and it hurts like hell. I really do love this guy but I can't take being hurt again. Can you suggest any advise and maybe some councellors that I can go to so I can try and get rid of all the stuff going on in my head. He really messed up my mind and played mind games with me. I am depressed, please help me.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberDoc

Confused, I suppose the only explanation is the fact that he started taking drugs. The best would be to try and get over him as fast as possible and not waste any more of your time on a drug addict because when a drug addict has to choose between drug s and you, the drugs will always come first. You can also drop CyberShrink a line and see what he has to say. Good luck.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Maureen | 2004/02/24

Hi Confused

What area are you in? THere is a fantastic counselling centre in Bryanston, qualified counsellors who don't charge. I have benefited hugely from going to them. The tell number is 011 463 2333 (ask for Counselling house).

God Bless

Reply to Maureen

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