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Question
Posted by: Happy Wife | 2004/10/07

Why does it seem no one is happy in their marriage ?

Is there any happy married people on this site.
Don't people know that marriage is all about give and take, and not getting upset over the little things. Not trying to change each other , but accepting each other.
Maybe people would not get so depressed if they eased up.
I am not talking about woman being abused as they need to get out that situation
I have been married to a wonderful man for nearly 20 years and he still tells me he loves me every day.

PS I know I am Blessed

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Dear HW, Delighted to hear that you're happy and blessed. You're right about what a good marriage needs. But of course, with any site that offers advice and support to unhappy people, it's likely to be unhappy relationships that get reported here, rather than happyn ones. Thanks for reminding everyone that indeed, many marriages are and can be happy.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Shirls | 2004/10/07

Hi

I thought i would add my name to the list of happily married people. We ahve only been married for the last three and a half years but we are extremely happy together and are also trying to have a family. It is indeed early days but the qualities i see in my hubby, i don't think will change. These qualities are in-bred and i thik that is what is important. Many people are brought up not respecting others and that leads to all kinds of problems.

People must learn to respect each other so that they can discuss issues that they have instead of hopping off into someone else's bed. Abusive partners should seek help because they have serious Psychological problems that need to be addressed and the abused partner must be strong enough to stand up to the abuse. Don't be afraid of society, if you need to leave an abusive partner do so, but one hopes that issues can be dealt with befoer they reach the stage where abuse sets in!

Reply to Shirls
Posted by: Lucia | 2004/10/07

From one happy wife to another - yes, some of us posting on this site are happily married, but we post for different reasons.

I have only been happily married for the past 7yrs of my life - survived a very (physical) abusive marriage prior to that and I was extremely angry at anything wearing a pants for many years before I met my 2nd husband. I believe our secret ingredient is the friendship we established before we became involved romatically. Let's face it, a happy marriage requires hard work and I do not believe there is a marriage without it's ups and downs. The problems are just easier to handle if your relationship has a solid foundation e.g. genuine friendship.

I also believe that when a couple can share life's turmoils as friends you are also more inclined to respect each other as individuals and do not try to change the other person - at the end of the day it is that individual that you fell in love with aint it - why try to change them ? Also accepting that each one of us has flaws - do not see your partners' as much bigger than your own and try to see things from your partners point of view instead of being stubborn and insisting "I'm always right". This recipe should be applied by both parties or the proverbial phoo will hit the fan more often than not.

In any case - nice to hear some very positive things on this site from time to time - thanks for your posting.

Keep well

Reply to Lucia
Posted by: Emma | 2004/10/07

Dear Happy Wife,
I am so pleased for you. I hope you will be happily married for the next 40 years. I am getting out of an abusive marriage, not waiting around for my husband to beat me up!!

There are some good marriages around. Then there are those marrigages that look alright on the surface, but if you dig deeper there are two very unhappy people together. I prefer not to be one of those.

All the best to you both!

Reply to Emma
Posted by: Kay | 2004/10/07

Josh,

If you dont like the advice as you think it "messes up even that what is left to salvage".....dont take it.

Simple.

Reply to Kay
Posted by: Josh | 2004/10/07

You are indeed blessed. People in their marraiges lie to much to each other about small things. Honesty is not present and trust is gone because of the lies. And then, this site with all the "expert" advice from the pro's messes up even that what is left to salvage.

Reply to Josh
Posted by: Kernel | 2004/10/07

It takes two to tango! It is actually him who is blessed.

To answer your question - There is no need for happily married people to post on this forum. This forum is there specifically for people who need advice on some problems they are experiencing.

Go well.

Reply to Kernel

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