Posted by: Unhappy | 2007/05/16

Why does he do this?

My husband is quite a good guy when everything is going the way he wants it to! I am under a great deal of stress at work and have some financial problems, so I am not the happiest person around at the moment. Whenever I try to make conversation with my husband he brushes me off and when I ask him why he does it, he tells me he is not interested in what I have to say as he does not know the people I mention in my conversations. He clicks his tongue and throws his hands up in the air - on Friday evening I cracked - I could not deal with it anymore, I was very upset and started crying, then he tells me that I must speak to someone as I need help. He ALWAYS tells me that I am a "kak mens" and that I do not allow people to get close to me. His family is everything in his life. They can treat me as badly as they wish and he will NEVER

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Maybe you are talking away to him about people he really doesn't know, in a way that an office colleague might undersdtand and appreciate, but which really is boring to him --- even if he actually cares about the fact that you have been upset at work. Why not see a counsellor, though ( he can't object, as he suggested it ) and work on improving your self-confidence and positive feelings about yourself ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Poppy | 2007/05/16

He says you never allow anyone to get close to you and yet when you try get close to him, he tells you he's not interested in what you have to say.

I think you better off alone even if just on a trial seperation basis.
Abuse is abuse, and it comes in many different forms, but you don't have to put up with it, you're better than that.

Reply to Poppy
Posted by: Been there | 2007/05/16

It's called ABUSE my friend. My ex was 100% the same, I was the KAK MENS, always needing professional help in his eyes. What they do is break you down slowly slowly. Then you can't take it anymore and they say you are mad and need help. Oh and yes, a man that puts his family first - you stand no chance. Hence he's my EX.

Reply to Been there

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