Posted by: Bellababe | 2004/10/15

Why do men pursue u and as soon as you fall 4 them they rip your heart out?

just a question i'd like an answer to - this always seems to be happening to me. last week he wanted to marry me and this week i'm not good enough.

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Our expert says:
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Some men and some women, do this to other people. But if it keeps on happening to you, maybe you should see a counsellor and learn to understand how you keep picking the wrong ones, and how to find better people ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Disagree | 2004/10/16


Reply to Disagree
Posted by: Icarus | 2004/10/15

When you think of your past love, you may view it as a failure. But when you find a new love, you view the past as a teacher. In the game of love, it doesn't really matter who won or who lost.

What is important is you know when to hold on and when to let go! You know you really love someone when you want him or her to be happy, even if their happiness means that you're not part of it.

Everything happens for the best. If the person you love doesn't love you back, don't be afraid to love someone else again, for you'll never know unless you give it a try. You'll never love a person you love unless you risk for love.

Love strives in hurting. If you don't get hurt, you don't learn how to love. Love doesn't hurt all the time. Though the hurting is still there to test you, to help you grow. Don't find love, let love find you.

That's why it's called falling in love because you don't force yourself to fall. You just fall. You cannot finish a book without closing it's chapters. If you want to go on, then you have to leave the past as you turn the pages.

Love is not destroyed by a single failure or won by a single caress. It is a lifetime venture in which we are always learning, discovering and growing. The greatest irony of love is letting go when you need to hold on and holding on when you need to let go.

We lose someone we love only when we are destined to find someone else who can love us even more than we can love ourselves. On falling out of love, take some time to heal
and then get back on the horse. But don't ever make the same mistake of riding the same one that threw you the first time.

To love is to risk rejection, to live is to risk dying, to hope is to
risk failure. But risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing! To reach for another is to risk involvement, to expose your feelings is to expose true self, to love is to risk not to be loved in return. How to define love: fall but do not stumble, be constant but not too persistent, share and never be unfair, understand and try not todemand, hurt but never keep the pain.

Love is like a knife. It can stab the heart or it can carve wonderful images into the soul that always last for a lifetime.

Love is supposed to be the most wonderful feeling. It should inspire you and give you joy and strength.

But sometimes the things that give you joy can also hurt you in the end. Loving people means giving them the freedom who they choose to be and where they choose to be. For all the heartaches and the tears, for gloomy days and fruitless years, you should give thanks, for you know, that there were the things that helped you grow.

Loving someone means giving him the freedom to find his way, whether it leads towards you or away from you. Love is a painful risk to take but the risk must be taken no matter how scary or painful, for only then you'll experience the fullness of humanity and that is love.

Only love can hurt your heart, fill you with desire and tear you apart. only love can make you cry and only love knows why. If you're not ready to cry, if you're not ready to take the risk, if you're not ready to feel the pain, then you're not ready to fall in love.

There was a time in our lives when we became afraid to fall in love because every time we do, we get hurt, then I figured that's why it's called falling in love.

Whatever happened, don't give up! It is just a trial.


Reply to Icarus
Posted by: D@mn | 2004/10/15

Aaaah yes, that is the question of the century isn't it?
Who the hell knows. A wise friend of mine told me that a man will say and do WHATEVER it takes to get laid... and then of course after that he needs to suddenly develop amnesia... Its difficult, and damn scary out there...

Reply to D@mn
Posted by: CP MOM | 2004/10/15

Men do this to us girl..... what can I say.... they get what they want when we "fall" for them and then it's :


Reply to CP MOM
Posted by: Beyond Tired | 2004/10/15

Hey Bellababe, it is a tough one and I am not wise I think, just been through a lot and been hurt more often than care to remember, but I hopefully have grown so yeah it is part of the growing process so know it will pass and you will meet someone else, it is tough and hurtful though. Btw your nickname is my daughters as well.

Take Care.

Reply to Beyond Tired
Posted by: Bellababe | 2004/10/15

BT, you sound like a wise woman. Getting hurt is part of the growing up process i guess. Was just wondering about it. . Thanks CS.

Reply to Bellababe
Posted by: Beyond Tired | 2004/10/15

This is something none of us will ever understand. Some people play these vicious games and hurt the one's they supposedly love for some unknown reason, most say, they've been hurt in the past and don't want to be hurt again. In my case they just tell me straight out I am nuts and they can't cope with me. I have come to the conclusion recently that it doesn't matter what others think, it is what I think and that is how you should look at this. Is he really worth the heartache? Sorry that you're hurting.
Take Care.

Reply to Beyond Tired
Posted by: Bellababe | 2004/10/15

i suppose it does work both ways, but why give me the opportunity to give you my all and then step on me?

Reply to Bellababe
Posted by: Icarus | 2004/10/15

I agree with 'Me' same thing thing happened to me, things were going perfectly then she ripped my heart out, chewed it up a few times then dumped it. So guess it works both ways?

Reply to Icarus
Posted by: Me | 2004/10/15

Well it isn’t always the case! I gave my g/f everything she wanted and everything was great and then the other day she told me that she doesn’t want to see me anymore? So what is that all about?

Reply to Me
Posted by: Beyond Tired | 2004/10/15

Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt. You know what Bellababe, I just think men are scared of committment, so they chase until they have and then they let go, I don't think they intend to hurt a person, but they do. Some are intentional, but that's just the way they are. Look at yourself and don't build on yourself by what a man makes of you, you need to love yourself and then whomever comes into your life with love you as well. He wasn't worthy of you, not the other way round.

Take Care and Good luck with the feelings, you are worthy of more.

Reply to Beyond Tired
Posted by: Mindful | 2004/10/15

Hi Bellababe,

I'd love to know the answer to that as well! I was proposed to twice (by the same guy), and promised the world and then next day(s) he had absolutely no memory of that!

Reply to Mindful

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