Posted by: Margaret | 2005/12/02

Why do men.....

give YOU the silent treatment when they are at fault and why must I be the one to sit him down and talk to him when he's the one that came late with no explanation.

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Our expert says:
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You're the one who wants an explanation ; and he's the one who doesn't want to give it --- the guy who wants something usually has to take the initiative.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Buzz | 2005/12/02

FIO, all of us have opened up on this forum, and admitted to things which we regret, are ashamed of, or don't like to talk about. For what it's worth, I wasn't judging you or anything you've mentioned on this forum. Believe me, I have no room to talk.

I have a problem with this person going around judging everyone else, with no regard to others' feelings. None of us can judge. Least of all me, and her. I don't like to slate, and yes, I do feel bad about it, but maybe it was necessary?

On the other hand, judging by the responses to this posting, it might not have been the person I thought it was. CS can pick up on any given posting, if one person posted more than once, under different nics. So if WiiWii was a regular, s/he won't post again under her/his usual nic, cause CS will notice it immediately. Lots of that going on.

At least I can say I slated using my own nic. Am I forgiven? Friends?

Reply to Buzz
Posted by: ZeeZee | 2005/12/02

My husband (died 3 years ago) was a talker and the current guy in my life is not. It was difficult at first because I was used to talking till we sorted our problems out. The current one keeps quiet and then I got so worked up because I hated the silence. One day he told me that somethimes I just bowl him a 6 and then he do not know how to respond. Well this is what I tried and it worked for me. When he was totally relaxed I started to talk in a very relaxed way and then we started sorting our stuff out. So yes Buzz is right that we can't generalise

Reply to ZeeZee
Posted by: Buzz | 2005/12/02


Reply to Buzz
Posted by: figured it out | 2005/12/02

Wiiwii, all relationships might end up like Marg's, even that of Buzz. No guarentees in life at all. But that does warrant the negative comment that Buzz should not act better. She's not acting better, she's explaining an alternative ot the generalisations we all have which we make based on a few lousy situations.

You knwo the old story, one bad experience gets told to a hundred people. One good experience gets told to 10. So generalisations tend to be based on what is NOT the norm.

No need to slate Buzz...

Reply to figured it out
Posted by: Buzz | 2005/12/02

Inherently, men and women are different. But that does not mean that ALL men (or women) have the same weaknesses, make the same mistakes, or behave the same. The individual should be judged on merit.

Wiiwii, I was helpful to Margaret on an earlier posting. I don't act better than anyone, because I'm not - and am the first to admit it. Just looking at your nic, which I've never seen before, I can only assume it comes from one person who seems obsessed with excrement, urine and threesomes. Your comment isn't a Tiekie's worth.

Reply to Buzz
Posted by: Jakes | 2005/12/02

Margaret, in my case it is other way round - so Buzz is right don't generalise. I think it is because men have never learned the art of communicating emotionally. The article on H24 this morning (written for the boys) about body language was quite funny and may open the eyes of lots of people.

Reply to Jakes
Posted by: figured it out | 2005/12/02

Men go quite because its an admission of guilt, and they dont always know what to say in response to what ever they are facing.

Lets generalise, and say women do the opposite, they fight like hell to get out of the corner they're usually in, even if they are wrong, and especially when they are wrong. I know, generalisation, so bollocks me out if you wish, its cool.

Reply to figured it out
Posted by: Nomsa | 2005/12/02

Margarate, im on the same boat. Mine is not talking to me either bc i confronted him abt his affair which he denied. It hurts so much. its been a wk now no talking nothing whatso ever and yet this morning i was on his phone that he phoned d mistress at night and he's telling they r just friends.

Wish i was financially independent i will leave the asshole!

Reply to Nomsa
Posted by: Wiiwii | 2005/12/02

Hey Buzz, don't act better, your man might also end up behaving like Margaret's, you cannot brag about your good man, just advise that's what she needs

Reply to Wiiwii
Posted by: Buzz | 2005/12/02

Margaret, your man might do that, but mine doesn't. Never a good idea to generalize. You get good and bad men and women.

Reply to Buzz

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