Our expert says:
I suppose most of us feel puzzled when we find it so hard to cope with a situation so profoundly hurtful as this ; yet far from being any sign that we're inadequate or abnormal, it's plumb normal for us to feel deeply hurt, sad, angry, and powerless. Part of this may be that, even without realizing it, our experiences of relaive success in handling the usual problems of life, lead us to feel not only that we CAN, but that we OUGHT to be able to handle any events without being hurt, or feeling confused, and somehow magically knowing exactly what to do or say. It's wisest to face the fact that none of us are superhuman, and there is no obvious or easy way to handle such events --- yet we do manage to get through them, and can become stronger in the process.
Another part of the problem is demanding to know WHY and struggling to find a clear explanation for events that are either impossible to explain, or so complex and many-reasoned, that we won't find the clear explanations we sek --- and maybe even more important, not realising that even if we could discover EXACTLY how and why it happened, this wouldn't enable us to undo what has been done, or to prevent what has already happened.
And Vicky, who has been there, is giving excellent advice on how to practically handle it.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal
advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.