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Question
Posted by: Me | 2008/01/24

Why do I care?

Why do I care what people think of me?
I usually seek people's approval (friends or relatives) before going ahead with what I want to do,I know it's okay sometimes to ask for advice but what I'm doing is way too much I can't seem to stop caring what people think of me, I guess it's a matter of reputation but I am tired and want to be free from this prison i've built for myself. what can I do to stop approval seeking, start living my life the way I want and doing the things that make me happy.

Thanks

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Its nice if people ( people with goo taste ! ) like you, but yes you shouldn't need their approval. Advice is asking someone who actually has experience and knowledge i the field HOW to do what you want to do ; approval is asking eprmission to do it. Its not so much a matter of "reputation", but often of low self-esteem, as though you're not good enough to proceed without the stamp of approval from others. CBT, Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy, would be the ebst way to go to lose these bad habits of thought and behaviour, and change in the direction you want to. And you don't need anyone's approval to see a good therapist / counsellor !

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Our users say:
Posted by: Me | 2008/01/24

Thanx Doc for your response
I don't have low self esteem,a ctually I am quite confident other people see it too but lately I just care too much and I think it's just affecting my perfomance in most areas of my life, I find myself caring what ex boyfriends think of me for instance, I think be both agree I shouldn't care what they think..I'm usually in control but these days it feels like i'm losing it,like i can't think for myself and decide without consultation and asking for permission.

Before now, I never really cared if people called me names or whatever just as long as I was true to myself but now it seems like I can't bear the thought of someone thinking a bad thought about me

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