Posted by: :o( | 2008/07/16

Why cant I be loved

Once again I sit here with a broken heart, trying to hold back the tears. Once again I've had someone cheat on me and I dont know what I'm doing wrong. THis time I went into the relationship with an open mind. I didnt suffocate him and was flexible. I didnt excessively call and sms. At the end of the day he realised that the was happier with his ex and went back to her. I'm independant, have a good job, have money in the bank. Live on my own, never moody and look after myself physically. In the past 3 years i have been cheated on over and over again. I dont what I'm doing I think I'm just not capable of being loved. The problem that this is creating is that I am becoming a recluse and I dont think that i ever want to give another man a chance, because it seems that all men are out to hurt me. I have so much to offer and people take and take and I ask nothing in return but for someone to respect me and the relationship that we are in, but it hasn't happened and at the age of 30 I dont see any hope of me finding the one. Life sucks sometimes.

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Our expert says:
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See a personal counsellor if this is a recurrent pattern; then you can examine these issues and find a better way of forming relationships and avoiding linking up with the wrong sort of people

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Our users say:
Posted by: Phil | 2008/07/17

I feal the same, don't think I can trust anyone ever again. I was not cheated on, but I married a soft church girl, but we both had issues. she walked out, without spendong too much effort on working on our problems. I guess my advice to you is to choose very carefully, and listen to those voices and little warning signs. Take your time, don't do what I did. I was rushed along and almost forced into mariage. Big mistake.

Reply to Phil
Posted by: xyz | 2008/07/16

:o(, do you think you capable of loving yourself? Love yourself first, take care of yourself for yourself and not to be seen. Keep your money in the bank and never mention it. Be positive, live a positive life most of all appreciate yourself.
You can wear THEE expensive perfume with a nice body then I come with my bubbly smile and my love handles, guess what?????
Be content. After all this you'll see what will happen.

Good Luck

Reply to xyz
Posted by: GVOR | 2008/07/16

Maybe the fact that you expect nothing in return is the problem. That could be exactly what is making the men you get involved with to cheat on you and/or leave you. You should have self respect and expect respect from the relationship, dont just expect and settle for the minimum, because thats what it sound like youre doing to me. Believe that you deserve a good relationship and a faithful partner and belive that you are worthy of that and so much more. It doesnt mean you have to be demanding, because that will also chase a guy away, it just means that you must be more confident about what you expect and what you deserve from the relationship and even in life, then you just might attract and keep a suitable man. Stop looking for THE ONE and enjoy your life, the right man will come along when youre not looking.

Reply to GVOR
Posted by: SR | 2008/07/16

Just remember no matter how attractive you are, whether you are Angelina Jolie or a Brad Pitt, he or she can and will cheat on you given the chance

No matter how you keep a check on your relationship something will slip through the cracks

Some woman know how men work and think they have it in check but they dont

Some men think that they are having a good time by running around and cheating on their girlfriends, wives and partners but if they only knew they are the ones who are being fooled

Its a war out there people, keep a vigil on your relationship and always stay sharp

Some people know about the unseen war and never really give their hearts so that when they are cheated on its not so much a hurtful occurance but a dissapointment and validation of their original theories

Somewhere in this big mess there are those who find true love and we raise our glasses to them ..... dont stop fighting, dont give up, somewhere, somehow, its there waiting

Reply to SR
Posted by: Been there | 2008/07/16

As much as you think you are doing nothing that would make them leave you, you are, believe it. A guy can sense a woman who is "desperate" to settle down a mile off, you may not say it but your body language is shouting it out. Heres some advice from someone who has been where you are now. Enjoy the fact that youre single successful and well off financially, do things that you enjoy doing, explore and experiment with things you wouldnt usually, live your life, enjoy your freedom, celebrate being single because you will miss it ocassionaly when you do get married. Just enjoy your ;life right now and you will see the guy youre meant to end up with will cross your path.

I met my husband when I was at the happiest Ive ever been as a single woman. I was 28 when I met him, at the height of my career and had a great social life, more importantly I was happy and contnt with myself and I still believ thats what attracted him to me. We married 3 days before my 30th birthday. I used to think I was going to end up alone and childless, but when I let it all go and just ejoyed my life, he came into my life, through my sister who introduced him to me. Its going to happen, but dont be in a hurry

Reply to Been there
Posted by: Just me | 2008/07/16

Yes…there are absolutely no guarantees in life….I could’ve written this myself…I’m also independent, attractive, successful…confident…but also have a very soft nature…I think this is what makes certain people take advantage of me… …And, I was also cheated on.. and extremely hurt.
I have since become this cynical, bitter woman..who is too scared to trust another man again…or anyone for that matter…The disrespect that goes with cheating has really affected my..and Im still healing…It’s gonna take time…Im sure. Just remember, whatever happened was NOT your fault. You ARE capable of being loved….you will find a man who will truly love and cherish you…Just give it time… All the best

Reply to Just me
Posted by: SR | 2008/07/16

Life does not suck, these things happen and happen to the best of us. Congratulate yourself, you could have chosen to stay around the guy and humiliate yourself further but you have not and its a winner's attitude you have there knowing your own value, respecting yourself and its that same standard that you need to keep metering out and projecting.

There is no harm in applying the streetwise approach as well i.e. keeping prospects assess in check, making them know exactly that you know that they know that if they mess up their asses are grass ..... no harm in that. There is a fine line between being streetwise and hounding a guy day and night wanting to know where, who, why, when etc

Reply to SR

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