Posted by: samantha | 2008/08/25

Why can' t I let it go...

I am still in love with my husband' s brother... I have tried in the past just to forget about my feelings and put them on the back burner. I did reveal to the brother at the time how I felt about him a few years ago. Although he never did admit that he had the same feelings for me, we decided it was not something we could pursue and decided to stop all communication between us. We would then only meet up at family functions and pretend as if nothing happened. I however realise that I miss him terribly and the more I try to forget about it, the more it hurts. I do love my husband and could not imagine a life without him, but my feelings just will not go away for his brother. I need some advices, pls help...

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I strongly suspect that in these situations ( which we get asked about distressingly often ) the person is actually very unwilling to :forget" about their feelings and move on, and this reluctance is what stops it from happening. That and not keping busy and getting involved with other people and other activities. See a counsellor, especially of the CBT variety, to learn to give up this bad habit.

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Our users say:
Posted by: MrB | 2008/08/25

I can relate to this a little, I' m still in love with my ex, and that is 10 years agao. I' m married with a princess of a baby girl and we expecting another little on next year. She is married with two kids, but I still miss her. Like you I love my wife, but I know that I have made the wrong decision in not marrying her.
Love never dies, no matter what. Not evening counselling can stop your feeling. I even tried have hypnosies to forget, but it did not work.

Oh and in case you are wondering, my ex feels the same about me. We share a connection. When is is feeling down, I will feel it, then I' m down for no reason. When she has her monthly, my tummy pains. the same is for her.

You just need to live with it, and avoid contact. That' s what we do, at least we try

Reply to MrB
Posted by: gena | 2008/08/25

why didnt you marry the brother in the first place,cuz this will break the relationship between your hubby and his brother for sure.

go see a shrink and get this out and over with,before you do more and permanent damage.

good luck.

Reply to gena

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