Posted by: Liezl | 2005/06/06

Why can't I just focus on the good things?

I am in a wonderful relationship with a great man. We really went through hell to be together, and I know that I am fortunate to have someone like him in my life. We just bought a house together and everything is just fine. The problem is just that I get mad everytime he does small things that I do not like or cannot understand. E.g. what happened this weekend. On Friday he just announced that he is going away for the weekend with a friend and that he is going to visit his kids in another town (he gets them every second weekend, and this weekend was not one of those) and that he will be back on Monday night. I do not have a problem with him visiting friends and spending time or his kids, however, i do have a problem with this specific friend as it is someone that was close friends with him and his ex wife. The ex wife visits the friend regulary, and he has never introduced me to the friend and he never takes me with, when he goes there, and he always go for a sleep over. When he left the house he just gave me a list of do's and dont's, never once asked me what I am going to do the weekend, and left. He did not call me until he was done visiting the friend and on his way to the kids, at which time I was in church and could not answer. Then he took them and their mom out to dinner. Afterwards he called me and suddenly appeared to be interested in my weekend. So, I am mad at him for how he treated me over the weekend, I have not told him yet, because I have not really spoken to him, and I am not sure if I have a valid reason to be mad. I know that he loves me and he shows it to me in numerous ways, why can't I just let the small things go and appreciate him for what he does right?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sounds like you still have unresolved problems about suspicions about him and his ex, more than he does,. What you describe doesn't really sound like bad treatment or lack of consideration on his part. WOuld counselling help you to let the small things ride, and save your time and energies for the big things ?

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