Posted by: scorpio | 2008/10/09

why are relationships so hard?

I made a decision, but I need opinions? I have been seeing this guy for about a month and we get on really well. Everything is there: the same interests, the right age, we can talk, chemistry...! Things are progressing quite fast... However, he has a girlfriend for the last 6 months. He said I need to give him time as things are not going well between them. He loves her, but she treats him so badly. They went away last week and he said that would be either make or break between them. It is now Thursday and he is still indecisive. I have now decided to end it - a clean break: no contact nothing. Is this the right thing to do? We get on so well and I really will miss talking to him. Any suggestions will be appreciated.

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Our expert says:
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Its never wise to start a relationship with someone already in a relationship, even if that other friendship is having hard times. Zola's rule makes excellent sense

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Our users say:
Posted by: lady | 2008/10/10

DUMP HIM!!!!!!!!!!! No one deserves to be the " other"  woman, as long as you are with him you will never meet the correct guy, the one that is meant for you. And put yourself in the other womans shoes, how do you think she will feel when she finds this out.... not good!!! You deserve 1st place in a mans heart not 2nd place...... good luck...

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Posted by: Me | 2008/10/09

Why are relationships so hard? Because you got involved with someone who already is involved with someone else. That' s why. And believe me, if he chose you - it would only get more and more difficult from thereon. I mean, would you ever be able to trust him??

One one one relationships are hard enough - you don' t need a third party (which in this case would be YOU!) to make this more difficult.

Reply to Me
Posted by: SR | 2008/10/09

As shared with me in the past.... one cannot build ones happiness on the loss of another

Reply to SR
Posted by: Zola | 2008/10/09

I think you are making the right decision ending it. He wants to have his cake and eat it too. If he is so unhappy why isn' t he ending the relationship? He must only talk to you when he has ended it with her. If they have problems and then he cheats on her, it means when you have problems he will cheat on you.

I have made up my mind that if a guy has someone  eirther a wife or a girlfriend, it' s a deal breaker - I am not going there. People tell me that I will never find someone who is totally alone. I would rather be alone then than to knowingly become " the other woman" .

Reply to Zola

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