Posted by: wilTED | 2017/11/21

who will take my hand

i landed on this site and the post of despicableme (miserable and down) while also desperately seeking for an outcome or guidance of some sorts. damn... the situation is getting the better of me, ii can not look my family in the eyes because of my failure to get a better income, in my early 50's, white male, unqualified (but far from stupid...or so i used to think but beginning to doubt it) and not a bullshitter (pardon the word, but it's true) so finding a respectable salaried job is hell. i get the feeling that because i am hard up for a job, being disrespected and disregarded in my current job is just part of the territory. I am well behaved, i work hard (think smart), do what is expected and more, do it well and professionally (i used to be in IT, that is what and how i do things). I know i can do & be better, but i have no idea how to.... just need an opportunity required. Retrenchment and failure at own venture, personal trauma, being disregarded and disrespected in current job has brought my self confidence to an absolute low....i am tired of rolling around thinking of boosting my income, there's to many scams and stuff around, give me a shovel, mark the area i'm to dig up and away i go... and then you pay me.... i don't have time for speculation anymore, i need guaranteed income for job well done. it really true that money can't bring happiness? am i totally off my rocker to think that financial freedom (half of) like DM's would solve my issues or would i become an ass? I'm not even thinking stinking rich, just respectable living, being able to (re)take up woodworking hobby again (having to get rid of tools/machinery in dire times), making stuff for my kids who are now young adults - i feel i failed them because so much i could do for them if only i had the tools/space....but hey, i took a wrong turn or 2 somewhere in life and now the road ahead is rockier than i think i can handle.... i have what i know is clearly just pipe dreams, because time is not on my side, then the next moment i feel like giving up, wishing i was the one who has cancer and not friends and/or family. And then again i count the blessings i do have and think to myself i am a selfish bastard to be wanting more.... but i am not living, i am merely breathing in breathing out, waiting for the last one, yearning for it!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink
- 2017/11/22

Hi wilTED,
Well, it's actually true that money won't buy you happiness,  though it may buy a more comfortable form of misery.  And I've known and worked with a whole lot of very rich and very miserable people. 
Don't live life backwards, looking over your shoulder. The time you spend blaming yourself for whatever you might not have done, is time you might be spending doing something else that might prove more useful.  You sound excessively focused on ways in which you have convinced yourself that you have failed others. I don't hear from you how they feel about it, and whether they actually blame you for anything, or expect and want anything more from you.
The central problem sounds like a low self-esteem and low self-confidence, which can be changed by a change in your attitude to yourself.  Are there any local support groups / self-help groups you could attend ?  What helpful advice can other readers offer here ?

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