Posted by: Samy | 2011/08/19

Who should be on top?

Hi Doc, my husband and i are having a few issues when it comes to our intimate time. I am almost always on top and when I say it''s his time to be on top he says no and then we don''t make love. I also have to give him oral sex most times before we have sex, he says its to help him get an erection but i know its not, then after i do that we have sex and it doesn''t last long and I also get turned off cause he never does anything for me (no four play) and when he does on the odd occasion he does it while I am giving him oral sex which i don''t really like, i feel that should be an individual task, but I don''t complain cause it doesn''t happen often. it just feels like we are always having " meaningless"  sex, no passion. How can I change this so that we can make real love and he can be on top?

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Our expert says:
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Dear Samy,

After having read your posting I am definitely sure that there is no recipe response I can give you that you could just go do and it then resulting in what you express you desire for yourself and your sexual relationhip with your husband.

The issues and factors that underly the situation having developed to where it is at this moment in time may be complex. It seems that working on communication with regards your sexual needs, your sexual repertoire and negotiating about these within the context of the history of your relationship is what may need to happen. This would best be served by means of couples sex therapy where a therapist can assit you both in navigating the discussion about what you both need, what you are both willing and not to explore sexually and the reasons that lie behind them.

At times the experience of the sexual relationship can also echo what is happening in other areas of the relationship.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Wajihmd | 2011/08/21

I do lots of foreplay and -|- licking before sex. I do not want to be on top because I cum very fast just after 15-20 poundings, it leave my wife unsatisfied. But when my is on top, she gives movement and I can control my ejaculation and erection. It gives her cum and satisfaction. But for anal sex I prefer to be on top because I like her bums.

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