Our expert says:
For a variety of good reasons, I don't do consultations by e-mail. Yes, I do see the e-mail addresses people give, but we don't use them in this way.
If anyone has a problem needing serious assessment and therapy, this should be done face-to-face with a properly trained and qualified mental health professional.
Caring for your mother is an admirable ideal, especially if she didn't bother to make proper provision for her old age ; but spoiling her is not necessary, especially where you can't afford it.
Its also very possible that she may have early Alzheimer's or some other form of senila dementia, and may just not be capable of understanding what you, reasonably, expect of her.
Maybe you can call on the welfare authorities to help her with some services or finding, and to help you to arrange for her to have an assessment, physical and psych, from a geriatrician ?
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