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Question
Posted by: Morne | 2004/11/01

Whife has lost her desire for sex totally

Me and my whife have been maried for 6 years now. Ever since our first child se has lost her desire for sex totally. She does not kiss me anymore, she sleeps in her own room with our child. Sometimes she will come and sleep with me but then even is there now affection for me. I feel like I'm going to go nuts. Before our first child we use to have sex 2-3 times a week. Now I'm lucky if we have sex 1 every 2nd month. This is becoming a big problem and I feel this is going to cause the end of our marriage.
Please help.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

There are three primary types of experimental treatment for female sexual dysfunction:

Education on female anatomy, arousal, and response; where blood flow, hormone levels, and sexual anatomy are normal
Hormone replacement therapy (including treatment of the underlying disorder)
Vascular treatment (including treatment of the underlying disorder)
Educating both women and men on how to talk about and respond to a woman's psychological and physical stimulatory needs can only happen if both partners recognize that there is a problem. Behavioral and sex therapists note the need for partners to examine the actual act of having sex, including foreplay, intercourse, and talking about sex. Sex therapists and psychologists may assist in improving communication between partners.
Hormone replacement therapy (HRT) is aimed at restoring hormone levels affected by age, surgery, or hormone dysfunction to normal, thus restoring sexual function. Estrogen and testosterone levels are measured and treated by endocrinologists.

Sildenafil (Viagra®), used in men with erectile dysfunction, is currently being tested in women. Some evidence suggests that it may restore libido lost to antidepressant use.

A medical condition that causes diminished blood flow to the vagina must be addressed in light of sexual dysfunction. However, some women who are not diagnosed with underlying medical conditions have found that nonprescription topical solutions, such as Sensua!™ (formerly called Viacreme®) or Viagel®, increase sensitivity and assist in achieving orgasm.

Sensua!™ is an amino-acid based (L-arginine) solution that contains menthol. L-Arginine is involved in nitric oxide synthesis, which is responsible for vascular and nonvascular smooth muscle relaxation. When applied to the clitoris, Sensua!™ may increase blood flow by dilating clitoral blood vessels. More research being done to assess the possible effects and complications of topical creams.

Eros Therapy™
The Eros Therapy™ is an FDA-approved device for the treatment of female sexual dysfunction. This small handheld device is used 3 to 4 times per week to increase blood flow to the clitoris and external genitalia, which improves clitoral and genital sensitivity, lubrication, and the ability to experience orgasm. It may take several weeks of conditioning before experiencing the benefits of this therapy.

You can call SA Sexual Health Association on 0860 100 262 for a referral in your area, or the DISA Sexual & Reproductive Health Clinic on (011) 787 - 1222
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Dr Elna McIntosh

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: Mandi | 2004/11/01


I agree. You have to talk to her. If she tells you she doesnt care after that then consider maybe moving else where. Its not nice feeling that you cant have sex with your wife/hubby. Eventually its going to make you have affairs because you not getting any from her. You must talk to her..!

Reply to Mandi
Posted by: lolla | 2004/11/01

When a women has a child her main focus is to protect and nurture that child ans sometimes they forget about their partner and their own sexual needs. I'd suggest you speak to her inform her you love her more than life itself and the greatest thing she ever did was give birth to you child., and you will always love her for it however you miss the intimacy part ., and you decided to speak to her because she is your wife and their is no one else you'd rather be with . then try the romantic approach maybee organise that your child sleep over somewhere for the night and start by holding her women love to he held by their husband even in bed and gently start to get her in the wsing of things again.........i hope this helps.

Reply to lolla

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