Posted by: jasmin | 2005/11/29

which way 2 go?

when your husband lies to you time after time and has been doing things behind your back for so long what do you do? their is no trust in my marriage he has just done too much and i cant take it anymore im unhappy and part of me just wants to get on with my life. what i dont understand is he says he wiill change if i give him another chance, should he not change now? i have given him my reasons for not being able to go through this again and he tells me im just making excuses and i will be sorry if i leave and then i feel bad cause i do love him alot. i know he has a gf i have seen his messages on his phn and last nite i know he was with her but then he comes home telling me how much he loves but how after his been with her i dont understnd how he can do that. after all the things his done can he really change and would it work cause ill always be wondering is he lying whats he doing and im sure that creates more problems. why do i feel so bad for wanting to leave feels like ill break his heart and at the same time im scared to leave. what choice would be the best any advice?

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Our expert says:
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Marriage counselling or separation or divorce --- or one accepts a highly unsatisfactory situation

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Our users say:
Posted by: SAme Boat | 2005/11/29

hey you!!! I'm experiencing much of the same... My hubby also said he'll change if only i tell him what he's doing wrong?? Hasn't he been listening when I told him about the actions that hurt me? and why only say he'll change once I said I'm serious about leaving? Now I feel guilty for not wanting to try anymore!! What is holding us back? FEAR of the unknown... will we make it and can we live with maybe spending the rest of our lives alone?
Good luck, in the end we have to make the decision ourselves and be prepared to forgive ourselves if it turns out to have been the wrong one. That said- I still don't know what to do!!!!

Reply to SAme Boat
Posted by: jasmin | 2005/11/29

thanks Dude you put a smile on my face today!

Reply to jasmin
Posted by: Dude | 2005/11/29

y don uz leave eez lame azz long time ago... uz shud seriously evaluate uz self image as it cud not be a good one if uz think uz can do no beta than eem...

love ... yea right! ow bout uz get on wif uz life like em little voices inside say 2 u all a time... er might b a man or 2 out there jus waiting 2 brighten up uz life , an mayb eez dong eez even bigger an it as uz name on it ...

Reply to Dude
Posted by: jasmin | 2005/11/29

we have talked about conselling be we never get to it and if we did go i wonder how long it would last. he has been to counselling himself cause of his drug problem which he still has but it never lasts he goes for 2 sessions and then it stops. he makes it seem that he is on the right track but it always lands up back to the same thing. him teeling me he will only change if i give it another chance is that not wrong if he really wanted it to work wouldnt he have already done so no matter what to prove to me. how does a person tell you he loves you but knowing at the same time their is someone else what does he have to gain by it?

Reply to jasmin
Posted by: Delene | 2005/11/29

If you really dont want to leave him, why dont you guys go for marriage counceling....?

Reply to Delene
Posted by: Brown | 2005/11/29

if it has been happening time and time again then the possibility of him changing are very slim, men are very selfish, they think they can just have relationships and we'll forgive them, when we have relationships they will never forgive.What gives im the right to think he can just play u. i hope u find a solution to ur problem. with all the diseases out there i hope u find it in ur heart to leave this man even though its not easy.
God Bless you.

Reply to Brown
Posted by: jasmin | 2005/11/29

no i dont have kids.

Reply to jasmin
Posted by: Crimsonkc | 2005/11/29

Do you have any kids?

Reply to Crimsonkc

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