Posted by: Mickey | 2009/10/05

Where to go from here???

Dear All

I will try to keep my story as brief as possible, I have been dating my bf for nine years and I don' t know what to do anymore..

I cheated on him in August 2007 we made up in October that same month I fell pregant,I moved in with him in January the following year and it' s been hell since then. He was never at home always on mxit, chat rooms,out drinking booze.Always busy on his cell phone always busy with his own things.

I found out about it because the women used to sms him and he was always so over protected about his phone.I confronted him about it and he always use to deny it as if he wanted to get back at me for what I had done to him but we agreed that it will stay in the past.We share two kidz together,two girls. I thought let me stay and maybe thingz will get better.

He always use to tell me that he thinks that we are not meant to be, he doesn' t feel the same way about me anymore etc... There I was on the other hand trying to fix it coz it is becoz of me everything fell apart.. But I can' t anymore.. He just doesn' t want to grow up everything is about him how he feels what he wants etc It' s just all about him and not once about US... He thinks I was born yesterday... He doesn' t treat me the way I am suppose to be treated...

The weekend he went out with friends and never slept at home on Saturday, I was obviously worried coz his phone was off becoz his battery was flat... When he got home yesterday It was like nothing has happened. I' ve got this problem that I can' t express my emotions I want to get physical. His problem is that he can' t express his feelings only when he is drunk...

I am under pressure at work, at home.. I just don' t have the will power to live anymore the only thing that keeps me going is my kidz. He doesn' t realize that it' s not all about him anymore...

I told him that I want out.He doesn' t know what he wants... Am i being selfish for felling the way I feel??? What should I do talking to him doesn' t help...Do I finally quit and move on??

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I get the impression that relationship problems may be more common in engagements that are iether very young, or very prolonged. In the situation you describe, it sounds as though the relationship meant very different things to you and him, and still do. Neither of you have been faithful, especially him, as it sounds as though toying with multiple women is a habit for him. And apparently neither of you can express yourselves about emotional matters, at all well.
Woudln't some sessions or couples / relationship counselling be wise ? Not to glue everything together again and ensure the relationship continues, but to explore what has been and is happening, so you can both make a sensible and informed decision about where to go from here, if anywhere. If h is not prepared to do this, for the benefit of all of you, move to plan B which would be to plan a safe way for you and the kids to leave and become independent.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Mickey | 2009/10/06

Excuse me Rob, who told you I messed up he was the reason I cheated... and who told you I opened my legs.. in future before you give advice think please... People like you makes me sick..

If he doesn' t want no more good for him at the end he will loose everything and buy the way thanks for the advice asshole

Reply to Mickey
Posted by: Rob | 2009/10/06

You messed up the relationship and now you blaming him? you should have kept your panties on and discussed your problems instead of finding refuge outside. i don' t blame him he just don' t want you no more, so take your kids and go and open your legs in peace.

Reply to Rob
Posted by: Kelly | 2009/10/05

Take your kids and leave.
You have no idea what you are doing to them.
Move on and concentrat on making them happy and yourself happy, other than that nothing else matters.

Reply to Kelly

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