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Question
Posted by: Anonymous | 2007/06/15

Where to get help?

Good day.<br><br>My son was married to a women who mentally abused him. After they had been married for a year she admitted to having an affair with someone and wanted to divorce.<br>My son was devastated by the news and started to drink and use drugs and had a few relationships with several women.<br>And a few weeks later he resigned, cashed in his policies and went overseas.<br>A year later we received a phone from a man overseas who requested we buy a plane ticket for my son so that he can return home.<br>We were very thankful that our son was still alive and was coming home as nobody had any contact with him.<br><br>When he came home we could see that he was troubled but refused to talk to anyone and kept on saying he wants to leave again. Friends and family came to visit him and everyone said that something is wrong.<br><br>As time passed he got a job in another town and moved. We called him once a month - and we got the impression that he was on the right tracks again and doing fine.<br>As it turned out he was still using drugs and before long he was broke and had no job to return to.<br><br>He came home and a few months down the line he met the most wonderful woman. Before long he moved in with her and we hoped that he was going to be fine.<br>She had gone through hell with him and finally drew the line. He then promised to stop drinking and using drugs.<br>After proving himself to her they got married and he wanted to start with a family.<br>They fell pregnant and became proud parents 3 months ago.<br><br>Unfortunately the company my son was working for closed - and he again was unemployed.<br><br>When our grandchild turned 6 weeks we got a call from my daughter-in-law's parents telling us that my son got drunk and assaulted her. She had opened a case and the police were looking for him.<br>A few days after he made contact with her - she was with a friend who then phone the police and asked my son to leave.<br>My son tried to kidnap his wife in order to talk to her - she got away and he stole her friends car He tried to commit suicide but failed as the police was able to get to him in time and arrested him.<br><br>He is now in jail - and we feel that we have a chance of helping him now. How can we get him to be send for psychological evaluation in order for him to get the help he needs.<br><br>My daughter-in-law is also willing to cancel the charges as long as he gets the help needed. This was the 1st time he ever took his anger,frustration out on her and she feels that he is a very good man beneath all his troubles. He also refused to talk to her about what was troubling him so much.<br>She believes that the drugs he used also contributed to his state as the specific drug causes depression.<br><br>Please help - how do we go about getting him the help he needs?<br>

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Our expert says:
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YOu'd best talk with wichever lawyer is representing him --- either one who you could provide, or, as he is probably classified as indigent, one provided by the state ( who is probably overworked and may be less efficient ). But the lawyer can arange for him to be sent for observation, perhaps to a state hospital, for a thorough assessment so that a report can be written to be presented to the Court. A court might even be able to order a period of compulsory treatment in place of jail time, or if he was sentenced to jail, the court could insist that he must receive counselling and psych assistance while there. Its also possible that a compromise could be reached, with the court's assistance, with her dropping the charges and the court ordering him to spend a suitable amount of time in treatment. There are some drug rehab programmes like Magaliesoord which would need a court order to admit him, and can be very useful.

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