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Question
Posted by: Trish | 2004/01/27

Where has the romance gone?

My boyfriend and I have been 2getha for almost 3 years and have been living 2getha for a year and a half. Lately we seem to have lost the plot as far as romance, affection and our sexual needs for each other. We have passed it off to stress through finances, work, etc but both are actually using this as an excuse. I know we both still love each other but it seems that the attitude from both of us is that if you aren't going to do anything, neither am I. Please help us by giving us both idea's on how to spark the romance and passion without it costing an arm and a leg. Hope you can help.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Dear Trish,
Your query hints at what a large part of the problem might be --- the auditing, like an emotional accountant, of how much the other person puts into the relationship, as a measure of how large your own investment ought to be. Unless you can give to the other person without counting the small-change of what you receive in return, you don't really have a relationship yet. As the saying goes, you have to give, to get.
And if he's shy in talking about love-matters, concentrate on non-verbal communication ! From your last message, it sounds like things are beginning to proceed well in this direction !

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Storm | 2004/01/27

Good luck Trish, just do it, open and show your love. You are 2 gether, so don't be shy!!! Let us know 2morrow please!!!!

Reply to Storm
Posted by: Trish | 2004/01/27

Thank you Little & Storm for your advice. The only problem about talking intimate is that admittedly we are both a bit shy in that department. Also whenever I bring up the subject of sex he closes up. I will however try your tactics. I also have been sending him little e-mail love notes today to try to rekindle some excitement and good feelings inside. He has been responding so let's see how it goes. :)

Reply to Trish
Posted by: Storm | 2004/01/27

One of you will have to do something, you don't need money for romance, except if you really wanna do something outside. Hmmm Be home before him, make him a nice dinner. After, fill the bath tub up, and put candles in the bathroom. And bubble bath, and if you can some nice soft music. Invite him for a bath, but put on something sensual. Talk softly to each other. And not about work or problems. Talk intimate, think of something you would like him to do to you sexually, or you to him. Talk about it, get arroused. A night not to be forgotten. Need more??????

Reply to Storm
Posted by: Little | 2004/01/27

It's way too early for that, as you still have no kids. You don't need money to be romantic. It's all in your language actions and fun, fun. We all have financial problems but you can make him forget once you start acting.

Reply to Little

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