Posted by: Dee | 2009/06/02

where do I start

Hi. I have been married for 11 years and have two children. My marriage has been up and down but always managed to stay afloat. Things have just been getting worse and worse and I fear that I cant help myself any longer - I cant carry on pretending that everything is fine anymore. I want to leave my husband. The problem is he is extremele adamant that I cant leave him, that he will never allow it. He has never hit me but has come really close. He has been mentally abusing me for years. How do I protect myself from him? If I should leave then I would need to stay with a family member (which is the very last thing that I want to do as its aweful enough having to involve other family member in what is potentially an explosive situation). How do I prevent him from threatening me at my office and where I would live? At this stage the only alternative for me is to stay with him and pretend I am happy while he puts me down everyday and breaks my heart. Is there such protection for a woman like me? I am 34 years old.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageDivorce support expert

Dear Dee,

I feel for your distress and being in such a state usually blinds us from seeing our possibilities. However challenging these words may sound, we always have a choice and it is our responsibility to make those choices for us. Our choices have been modeled by our adopted beliefs and limited perspectives which were part of the environment we grew up in. These beliefs have conditioned us into behaving/reacting the way we do in our lives presently. We can however "re-program" those beliefs and take responsibility for our freedom. You first need to free your mind of those old beliefs by challenging them. Ask yourself: Is my opinion about this absolutely true? How would I respond differently, without that opinion?

It's time for you to claim the happiness you deserve.

Wishing you all the best.


The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: TEERAY | 2009/06/02

Hi Dee
Sjoe it' s really scary to think that i am exactly in the same boat alsmot to the T, only thing different is that my hubby has cheated and started hitting me..I' m also trying to get out of the marriage. I know he won t have a problem with it coz he' s always saying that i make him miserable and holding him back in life....
What do you mean by him treathening you in what way?
What province do you reside? Maybe we can chat privately.
Let me know your thoughts
I feel exactly the same way you do... How do you make that first move.


Reply to TEERAY

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