Posted by: Robbie | 2012/02/09

Where do I go from Here- Please Help

Hi Prof!

Been ages (abt 5 years) since posed a question on this forum. is my problem. I am married now 7 years...andi have a son aged 3yrs...For the past coupla years My inlaws are really getting to me. They are so dominating and especially my mother inlaw, she doesn''t respect my privacy. I know she has only 1 grandchild, but she is like obsessed. I as a father cannot do anything around my child. When she comes up to JHB she acts as if though she is the childs mother. You may ask what about my wife? well she just stays all quite and starts ranting and raving with me....When we at a family gathering, she doesn''t giv the other grandparents a chance to play with my son.

Mid- december he had a huge argument and I told her how I feel. She berated me in fron of her eldest daughter and I ended up crying. She says I dont treat them well. But Doc, Sometimes I have my days where I wud like to just be quiet and not talk talk to anyone...Is there a crime in keeping quite?

Chapter 2... Then its my eldest sister inlaw....she is this high flyer executive who thinks becos she has money so she can buy her away to my sons heart...I am not working now since 2010..doing a bit of odd jobs here and there....and she is like always buying stuff for my son and I feel so hurt cause I cannot do the same.....As a father and husband I am really torn inside of me....As i write this, my heart is really sore.....I feel like I am not worth it anymore.

I as one may call me a protogonist dreamer....

Doc, my life is in a real shamble right now....What do ?

Please advise


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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Hi Robbie,
Nothing wrong or even unusual in someimes wanting to be quiet. I suspect you feel ashame an inadequate for being out of work, though this oftn happens to people through absolutely no fault of their own. So you fel sensiive when other people buy things for your son ; but you give him always what none of them can --- the genuine love of a father. And that cant be bought or sold.
Sounds like your wife is sensitive about her moher's onsession with the kid, but doesnt want to stir up family strife --- she's been around them longer, and mabe knows that its better to ignore this till they go home.
Ever thought of persuading her into some marriage counselling to improve both of your problem solving skills ?

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