Posted by: Anon | 2007/03/29

Where Can I Get Help

I have been dating a wonderful guy for two and a half years and keep on pushing the subject of marriage. He has told me on numerous occasions that he is not ready and that he will only be ready in about three to five years time. I then tell him I want out ,cause a massive fight, (which causes one of us to pack our bags) and come crawling back to him the next day. This happens every three to six months and I'm really scared that I will drive him away for good. Is there anywhere I can get help, therapy anything.

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Our expert says:
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See a personal counsellor, and start by recognizing why your recurrent pattern of responses is self-defeating. You want tio marry him ; he doesn't want to marry you or anyone else for the forseeable future. You are free to leave at any time, but then you go "crawling back" to him. You are unrealistically expecting him to change his mind and propose ; he is unrealistically expecting you to stop nagging about marriage and continue to give him all the benefits of marriage with none of the inconveniences.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Echelle | 2007/03/29

Your first time? Oh goodness, then there's 3 of you? Anyways, yip you're the good one :-)

Reply to Echelle
Posted by: Anon or not Anon | 2007/03/29

Sorry Echelle it is the first time I've used the CS for advice. Didn't realise anybody else was using that "Nick Name". Hopefully you think I am the good one :).

Reply to Anon or not Anon
Posted by: Echelle | 2007/03/29

I'm confused!!!!!!!!!!!! Are there 2 Anon's on this forum, because one sounds really mean and the other sounds okay! How must I know which one is the good one?

Reply to Echelle
Posted by: RMC | 2007/03/29

Seesh, doesn't sound like you are the one that needs counselling - he needs to deal with his commitment issues. How do you know five years down the road he won't still be telling you the same thing?

Reply to RMC

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