Posted by: Not sure | 2004/11/18

When is it an affair?

What are the 'requirements' for one to be having an affair. I suppose there must be contact. Must this be physical or will just talking by means of email or telephone also be rgarded as that? Is an affair always of a sexual nature or can it be there for the emotional comfort of the persons involved.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Josh | 2004/11/19

Edmund is right. If you hide it you are guilty of having an affair. There is a difference when you are joking or if you are serious. If you joke you can tell your partner.

Reply to Josh
Posted by: edmund | 2004/11/19

All the requirements have been met - it is an affair regardeless if there is verbal or sexual contact or both.

Only one question needs to be answered.


Kind Regards

Reply to edmund
Posted by: HS | 2004/11/18

Intimacy happens on various levels.
Exchanging naughty emails is more than fine... if you copy your spouse in too... can you? Hmmm.... therein lies the dillema.
It is risky, because if you cannot rely on your better half for 'emotional' comfort then there's something missing that someone else can fill... what else can't they fill?
You're looking, you're lusting... it's dangerous, that's all I'm saying.
How do you meet a b/f or g/f or spouse - did you flirt? Did you exchange naughtiness?... and then... you're intimate.
Just think about where it's leading... and if your man ain't supplying the spice in your day - there's a problem already, a wound waiting to be dug deeper.
Just be careful, be wise, and for goodness sake's, if you're married / involved, be satisfied. If you're not satisfied with who you're with, then do them the courtesy of letting them know, so they're not lied to by thinking you love them. It's cruel.
Thanks, my 2-cent's worth.

Reply to HS
Posted by: Klippies | 2004/11/18

I agre with Kernel,Geg and Mona. When you get involved with a person over the internet in such a way that you and this person breaks you down and you send vulger e-mails and sms's and you open your inner self to this person and not your partner, I see that as an affair. This happened to me and when I discovered it, this was carrying on for 5 months. The one person she never met(who knows) but the other one is a colleague.
Liza, the highly naughty e-mails I believe is porn. Just remember that people get together, gets drunk and they brag. Other clleagues knows about this and you jeapordise your own future.

Reply to Klippies
Posted by: Mona | 2004/11/18

An emotional affair isnt right either, that will take your focus off your loved one, and it will at the end of they day influence and destroy your relationship.

Reply to Mona
Posted by: Greg | 2004/11/18

Its an affair when you feel you have to lie about it. Like if your husband asks and you cannot tell him the whole truth then you are betraying his trust, regardless of what you are doing or not doing.

Also, if you have to ask then it means you are already uncomfortable about it being above board.

Reply to Greg
Posted by: Kernel | 2004/11/18

The bible is quite clear on this - whenever you have any sexual thoughts or desires regarding someone who is married or if you yourself are married, even only in your mind, it is considered the same as adultery or an affair. Physical contact is not necessarily required.

Reply to Kernel
Posted by: Liza | 2004/11/18

Personally I think an affair is when its of a sexual nature where any kind of intimate contact has been initiated. Else its just a close friendship. I had a colleague with whom I exchanged highly naughty e-mails. It never went any further than that though. Didn't consider that an affair. We didn't even ever go out on a date on something even remotely resembling a date. I don't feel that its cheating. It just spiced up my working day.

Reply to Liza

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