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Question
Posted by: Jhb guy | 2005/12/08

Whats wrong with me?

Hi there guys

Just a question i am attracted to guys ans well as girls..

a guy with nice leggs a sexy butt just turns me on..so m i gay or what?
i love making friends and love chatting but what to do with these mixed emotions and feelings?
any advise... jhb guy

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageGay, lesbian and bisexual expert

Hi Jhb Guy and thanks for posting on our forum.

No-one is 100% straight or 100% gay - we're all situated somewhere on the continuum between these two extremes. You're somewhere in there, on that continuum - which probably means that you're bisexual. And it is perfectly normal to be attracted to both men and women.

Don't experience bisexuality as a problem. Rather, choose to frame it positively, as a 'blessing'. Most of us are primarily sexually and romantically attracted to EITHER men OR women - if you're equally attracted to both your world could be much richer. Imagine an artist who paints with many colours as opposed to an artist who only paints with shades of blue.

Relax with this. Accept who you are and enjoy it, and always respect your partner.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Gay, Lesbian & Bisexual Expert | 2005/12/14

Please don't use this forum to give out contact numbers or email addresses - the rules listed above our forum are very clear about this - several messages have been deleted here.<br><br>Thanks.

Reply to Gay, Lesbian & Bisexual Expert
Posted by: Jhb guy | 2005/12/12

Hi there johnboy i wud love to mail you but i cant they have just cut off our email as people were abusing the facility we can only receive work related stuff from our branches and internal mail..

wud have been nice to chat to you... sorry bro..

need to find a way to communicate with the world but now its just that this company drives me crazy treating us like kids

Reply to Jhb guy
Posted by: Jhb guy | 2005/12/12

Johnboy thanks for the post ..

unfortunatly i dont have excess to mant sites.. so i cant really go and view..

but thanks you sound like a cool guy..

Reply to Jhb guy
Posted by: P | 2005/12/09

Hey JHB Guy

Listen carefully boet, where to meet decent guys ? there are some decent people online but very few really, I have seen the same people on line for months they hang there all the time, only 11% of people meet their loved ones on line 42% meet them through family and friends. be careful of the club scene, I have never been to a gay club, The best guys are those that dont normally frequent clubs, What you should actually do when you see a guy you like in the street or in the mall or wherever make eye contact with him and see if he responds, if you like a guy talk to him and be friendly you will pick up quickly if he is interested, follow your intuition. The easy route are the gay clubs but you wont find long lasting love there (my opinion). Love is not something you look for it just happens and you prob will fall for a straight guy as well and you will get hurt to buddy, but rather make friends with a few guys you like and dont commit quickly, but Hey JHB Guy very important believe in yourselve love yourselve do things that make you feel good about yourselve, you will need to be mentally prepared and chill forget about being gay and think about being happy thats whats important. P

Reply to P
Posted by: Jhb guy | 2005/12/09

Hi P thanks boet
thats cool advise and i might just use it..

thanks for taking time to read and reply to my msg..

where do you meet decent guys in this world?

i seem to meet the wrong ones only..

Reply to Jhb guy
Posted by: P | 2005/12/09

hey JHB guy

Its starnge hetrosexual people never feel they have to declare anything, you dont ahve to declare your sexuality to your parents, to this day I havent they just know and learn to accept, just dont take any weird people home with you but rather take a decent guy, and tell them his just your friend, they will grow to enjoy him and by the way, mothers always know, they see the hurt in you.

Reply to P
Posted by: Jhb guy | 2005/12/09

Thanks bro .. i think its just the family thing that worries me.. i cud never let them know i will be killed..

but this chatting is helping.. thanks again

Reply to Jhb guy
Posted by: Deeve | 2005/12/09

Jhb Guy,
What I mean't about meeting people - is to meet others that also feel the way you do, and will discuss life, and chat openly about it with you. You certainly aren't going to open up to the 'Butch' number in the office next to you at work - who probably wants to relate more to you about his bike, than the fact that you think he has a great butt...!
Unfortunately, unless you find others that are non homophobic - you are not likely to be able to chat about your feelings and emotions at all. As such, I suggested that you chat to gay guys. I have been down the married road, and now have a wonderfull same sex partner - only because I went out and followed my instincts, and tested my emotional turmoil. It was a wrenching time in my life, but hey, I'm as happy as a pig in ....... now! I always new I enjoyed both sides of the fence - but it took me years to accept the fact that the same sex side was way more attractive to me. When your'e ready one day, date a guy and see if it really bowls you over. You really have nothing to loose - you said it.
Good luck

Reply to Deeve
Posted by: Jhb guy | 2005/12/09

Hi there Deeve

THANKS bro but i am not in to meeting people in that way and you right time will tell.. and thanks for taken time out to read and reply to me msg.. nice to know that there are caring people in this world.. thanks again.. you are sweet..

Reply to Jhb guy
Posted by: Deeve | 2005/12/09

Hi Jhb guy,
There is absolutely nothing wrong with you - as the expert said - embrace who you are, and enjoy it! AS far as discussing the way you feel etc, there is a huge forum right here, and we are all very willing to listen, and help you where we can. Just fire away. Maybe seeing a therapist might sort some of your mixed emotions and feelings - try find a Gay friendly one though.
To meet people in person - well I'm afraid that you may have to take a flying chance in life, and either hang out at gay venues to meet guys, or try the online method - eg. Gaydar, or Mambaonline.
Just don't try and find the answers to everything in one day - only time will sort this.
Best wishes

Reply to Deeve
Posted by: Jhb guy | 2005/12/09

Ran=ven thanks for the kind words but letting nature takes its course is a bit difficult.. i need to meet with people that feel the way i do and chat about it.. i know it sounds stupid but what is there to loose..

thanks agian chat later..


Reply to Jhb guy
Posted by: ravenwiththebrokenwing | 2005/12/08

hey there
let me tell u ...hunni there is nothing wrong with u 4 feeling this way . I have been attractted to guyz and girls since a very young age. i came out as bisexual about 3 monthes ago...when i was sure ... and most importenly at ease with who i was.
And that all thats imporent 4 u right now , to acepet ur feelings and keep ur options open.
bieng attracted to guyz dosent always mean ur gay/bisexual ( i know that sounds triesome .....i was told simaler things countless times!) i know from expriance that its hard ... but just enjoy life 4 now and let things run thier crose . And plz dont feel guitey for your feelings , hun. .
blessed be
raven xxx

Reply to ravenwiththebrokenwing

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