Our expert says:
Gay, lesbian and bisexual expert
Hi Izzy, welcome to the forum and thanks for this post. The lack of sexual intimacy in your relationship is clearly disturbing you and I'm wondering how your girlfriend feels about it - it is quite possible that she's experiencing this negatively as well, but for different reasons. It is very unpleasant being turned down or rejected, but it is also possible that she feels guilty about this.
It is quite normal for couples to go without sex for quite protracted periods, particularly if one partner is stressed or depressed. A dip in libido could also be due to health factors or may be caused by some medications. Many couples are not fazed by periods of no sex and rather enjoy the emotional intimacy of the relationship.
Try not having sexual expectations and focus on more physical intimacy such as simply making more physical contact and touching, hugging, kissing and explore massage. It is possible that increased intimacy could, with time and if you're able to be patient, lead to more sexual interaction. However it is important that your girlfriend not feel 'pressured' at all so avoid any direct initiation of sex for a while.
Previously on our forum I've written about a very controversial topic, unfortunately named 'lesbian bed death', which looks at the assumption that some lesbian couples stop having sex after a few years of being together. Use Google to find more info on this but be wary of seeing the lack of sex as pathological - it isn't.
Please feel free to post again.
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