Posted by: down and out | 2004/11/12

Whats to life thats worth living for anyway....

Hi...They say "I have it all"...Great job, money, looks, I am young... That whole bit..BUT I feel like nothing is worth it without my fiance...Well used to be...Its been over a year now and I am still not over the breakup...We were so much in love until one day he just packed his bags for no reason and left...I have withdrawn from everything and everyone and have neglected myself in a huge way. No solice from anyone is helping...Maybe you can help...I managed to get hold of him and his excuse was that there was just too much pressure from family...I feel like just disappearing...

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

FOr Pete's sake, see a counsellor / shrink, to check if you have become depressed and need treatment for that, and any way, to help you work through and get over this breakup. Self-neglect and withdrawla are understandable but obviously unhelpful reactions. Sounds like you're actually well rid of him, if he couldn't handle pressure from his family ; and whatever the reason, if he chose to leave you in such a cowardly and cruel manner.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Janer To Shaun | 2004/11/14

Ek dink jy is'n uitsonderlike mens of hoe sê julle ? You are soooooo Cool

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Posted by: bear | 2004/11/12

Turn to the Lord our saviour.The bible has all the answers.

Reply to bear
Posted by: HOPE | 2004/11/12

There's more to life than relationship and heartache. My boyfriend of 6 years dumped for someone else and i thought it was the end of my life but now its over a year and i can proudly say i'm happy and he wasn't worth it. Its ok to cry and all but don't give him the satisfaction, get your life today make him envious of you. You can do, you're stronger than you think..just don't think about him go out with friends and take care of your looks etc..... There's more to life than HIM, he's not worth it. Its sounds as a cliche but its true, life is just too short and you deserve to be happy.....Whatever happened to you, happened for a reason and you need to believe that. Good luck...

Reply to HOPE
Posted by: Same here... | 2004/11/12

You are not alone...

I have a great job, looks, etc etc etc, but since my boyfriend broke up with me five months ago I feel like disappearing out of the face of the earth. I miss him so much- I think of him everyday, and I cry everyday. he has now moved on and is dating someone else. this past weekend he even took her to meet his family. I feel empty inside- I don't knwo what to do to stop loving him. 've tried dating other men, but everytime it ends up with me "subconciously" trying to compare all the men with my ex. I'm so sad and lonely and I feel liek dying. I can't believe he could just stop loving me like thta. We were so ahppy together- or atleast I thought we were. I'm on the verge of a break-down- I can't carry on like this-

WHEN WILL THE PAIN STOP..........................................................

Reply to Same here...
Posted by: Bad Move | 2004/11/12

Life is Life. Full of problems, full of experiences,full of nonsence and the ups and downs. Never base your life on someone else, live for you and your own happiness then life will be worth it. Love yourself first, then you can love someone else.

Reply to Bad Move
Posted by: Shaun | 2004/11/12

Hi D,

Evidently, you don't "have it all" as you say above. When you are happy with yourself & who you are, it doesn't matter how rich or what you have, you will be happy coz you will be satisfied & comfortable with you!!!

That said I would like to add that I do agree that love, when it turns to heart-break can be very de-bilitating, in more ways than one can ever know. But know just as well, that this happens coz YOU allow it to!!!

Is this person worth your hanging onto this hope when he seems to have just dropped you without a thought just coz his family put pressure on him??? Come on girl!? I am of the opinion that nobody has the right to make you feel that you are nothing without them, unless you allow them to.

Leave him alone, stop chasing after him. You're making him feel so important just by trying to contact him. Does he make you feel important???

You say you are young, so do what most young people do, enjoy life!!!

You wanna disappear??? Well, give some friends or relatives a shout & disappear in some fun for tonight or this weekend. You deserve it, so take advantage of spoiling yourself. Nobody matters more than you. Don't allow anyone to make you think otherwise!!!


Reply to Shaun
Posted by: Liza | 2004/11/12

I personally think that life is worth living just because I can make life better for others in so many ways. Being a shoulder to cry on. Sometimes the one crying on the shoulder (some people NEED to be needed - it makes them feel good) Giving someone a compliment - or a laugh just when they need it. So this guy just upped and left - leaving you high and dry. Not easy to get over - and I think its time you considered professional help. Getting some counselling might make you see things in a completely different light. Good luck - my thoughts go out to you.

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